I Love You, Always

Chapter 16

June

How many times have I dreamt of this. Of Day and I, having a normal day, in a normal place, instead of being in the middle of a war. But when my dreams do come true, it's ten years after, and Day barely has any recollection of me. Typical.

"Hey, so listen." Day says, bringing me out of my mourning. "I want to get to know you a little better."

"Ok," I reply, even though it pains me to realize that what we once had was gone. We have to start at square one.

"What's your full name?" He asks.

"June Iparis." A little part of my heart breaks.

"What's your favourite colour?"

"Blue or green." I answer.

"You're a prodigy yeah?" He asks, and I smile, glad to know that he at least knows that.

"I guess you can say that."

"See, I remember a bit." Day says with a grin.

Suddenly I get an idea. This might be the perfect time to get to know about Day's life in Antarctica, about how the last ten years were life for him.

"Ok, my turn." I say.

"Oh so are we playing a game now?" His smile is all too inviting, challenging me on.

"I guess now we are. So tell me, what do you do all day long in Antarctica?" Without even realizing it, I put my hand out in the shape of a microphone.

Day laughs and takes the bait. "Well it's been very busy these last few years," he says, pretending to be interviewed. "I normally get up, eat breakfast, go out for a run, eat lunch, and then lie around for the rest of the day, occasionally playing Antarctican games.

I laugh and point my hand in my direction. "That can't be it. You're Daniel Wing. Your life must be full of excitement."

"If you call five hour political meetings exciting then I guess, yeah, my life is a roller coaster."

"Ok then, Mr. Wing, thank you for joining us in today's episode of Cafe Talks. Have a good day." I say and then we're both laughing. It feels so good, so natural, to be sitting here with Day, playing around and laughing.

When we've both managed to calm down, I say, "You said you go out for a run everyday."

"Yeah."

"Wanna race?" I ask with a playful smirk.

"Oh it's on." He smirks back.

We rise and go outside. I take a deep breath and turn to my side, where Day stands. But as I turn, I see that he's already off, running down the street. "Come back here!" I shout and begin sprinting after him.

"Catch me if you can little prodigy!" Day yells back. This just makes me run faster.

Eventually we end up in a small alley. How we got here, I have no idea, which surprises me. Normally I'd have kept track of everything, all the streets we ran through, all the turns we took. But something is alive in me today, and the adrenaline inside distracts me from my usual analysis of my surroundings.

Inside the alley, there are garbage bins pushed to one side and a small couch on the other.

"Let's see how good of a climber you are." Day says through a grin, and starts scaling the building. I begin to pursuit him.

My mind stars racing. Judging by the width of the building, it's not a very tall one. It'll probably take me around 10 seconds to climb it. Finding footholds, I hoist myself up until I can't go higher. Looking over, I see that Day has already made it and is now looking over the roofs of Batalla.

His hair glows golden in the sunlight and there is a bright look in his eyes. Looking at him hurts more than any kind of physical pain, and I have blink a few time to keep tears from spilling. Day looks over, sees me, and comes to help me up. Even though I don't need it, I accept his outstretched hand let him pull me up.

Once I'm standing beside him, he turns to me and pants, "I win, sweetheart."

His nickname pains me, the memories coming back all too clear. Nevertheless, I put on a smirk. "You only won, Day," I say, using his old street name, "because you ran ahead of me. I bet you were just afraid I'd beat you."

"Oh really?" He replies, mimicking my smirk. "I bet I could beat you at anything, sweetheart. I am Day after all."

"Don't go placing bets you know you're gonna lose."

"Well then I guess we'll have to do this again then, won't we? I'm just dying to see how you cope with losing, Iparis."

"You didn't tell me you could see the future."

"It's a newly discovered gift," Day says with a wave of his hand.

Then we're both laughing. Who knew after ten years without seeing him, I'd be standing on a rooftop and laughing with him. When we've both calmed down, Day looks over at me and smiles. "You've got some dirt on your cheek," he says, gesturing to his own cheek. My hand reaches up to wipe it away, but Day is already there, gently wiping my cheek. His hand doesn't leave my face once he's done, instead he cups it, and slowly rubs circles on my cheek using his thumb. A shiver goes through me and when I look at him, I see that he's looking down at me with an expression so tender I have trouble breathing. It's as if I'm some fragile vase, and if he's not careful, I'll break. Which, in a way, is true I guess. If this keeps up, something is going to break, and I'm not sure it's something I can put back together. And I know my heart is going to be ripped to shreds again, but this time, I don't think it'll heal. Which scares me even more.

I can see what Day wants so clearly, it's written all over his face. And it's the same thing I want, to rekindle our love. But I can't let him have it. Because I know, that if I let him, I'm never going to be the same again. All the work I've put into building up a wall around my heart will crumble. So, when he leans in, I lean back. And even though every part of my body wants to melt into him, and even though my heart screams yes, my brain screams no, and I'm forced to listen to it. I put a hand on Day's chest, and gently push back. He looks down at me, and I can see the pain in his eyes so clearly, it's as if I'm looking into a mirror.

"June." his voice breaks.

"Day, I'm sorry." Tears pool in my eyes. "I can't-it's just not-" I can't seem to end the sentence.

"I can't afford to do this again," I begin again. "I can't-" the tears come pouring. "I can't lose you again. I'm sorry, I know I'm hurting you, but I'm afraid Day. I'm afraid that if I do this, I won't be able to stop. I'm afraid that when you go back, I won't be able to pick up the pieces to my heart."

Day wipes a stray tear from my face and smiles gently. "It's ok, I get it. I won't pressure you, take all the time you need. But I want you to remember, whether you change your mind or not, I'll be here."

"I'm sorry." I sob uncontrollably, and Day wraps his strong arms around me, holding me to his chest.

"I'll always be here," he says softly.