Kill me? (Mikey Way Fanfiction)

Chapter 13

"Mikey, wake up" I feel someone shaking my body violently. I force myself to try to open my eyes

"Mikey, I'm back" I open my eyes and see Valerie with her blue hair and beautiful eyes which I missed so much "Hey" she said and smile at me, the sweetest smile I ever seen. "You look so tired" she said again, I just stood there, frozen. I don't know what to say or to do. I don't remember anything. I'm too afraid to move my body. I want to hug her so bad but I feel I can't move myself. "Mikey" she whisper "Please wake up" What? I've already wake up. "Mikey" she said again "Mikey!" 

I open my eyes once again, that's just a dream. Shit. "Why you sleep on the couch?" Gerard asked
I sit down on that couch and thinking. I'm just dreaming. "How it's going?" I asked back without answering his question "What?" He asked back. Is that a dream too? I thought Gerard would talk to Katelynn, was that just a dream too? "Oh yeah. I almost forgot. Better talk about it tomorrow morning. You look to tired, Mikey. Get some sleep" He said "But, I need to know if I can meet her again. Please Gerard." he shook his head, "You need to sleep first. And I'll talk about it tomorrow after the show" I sigh "At least tell me if everything's okay or not" I said and he look at me "Yes, Mikey. Everything's alright. You just need to sleep and everything's gonna be better" I smile at him, he's the best. "Thanks, Gerard. Thank you so much" I said and give him a brotherly hug. 

I lay down on my bunk and listen closely to anything around me. This bus still moving and our driver still singing softly to Fall Out Boy and our music. I can't sleep. It's already 4 in the morning, the sun is getting ready to rise up. I sit on my bed and messed up with my phone, I keep scrolling down in my gallery and look at so many picture of me and her. How I miss her. Suddenly our bus stop moving, we must be already arrived. I hear the bus door open and close, I think our driver, Max. Go out for smoke. I wear my shirt and get up, maybe to talk with Max. Probably about something like global warming, he loves nature so much. And he always said he feels upset to people in this generation, who didn't care about the nature, and burned out the forest. I open the bus door and can found Max easily. 

"Hey Max" I tapped on his shoulder and he jumped a bit "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you" I said and sit beside him "No, it's okay. I was thinking" He said "About the world?" I asked and he let a little laugh. He shook his head "This time, no. I always had 3 am thought" He said. "But not always at 3 am." He continue "What do you mean?" I asked "Did you ever heard about 3 am thoughts?" I shook my head "That feeling when you think about anything bad in your life, about that unpredictable future, or maybe your mistake at 10 years ago. I always have it when I'm done with trying" He said. I think I have 3 am thought too. "Wanna talk about it?" I asked him again. He shook his head and suck on his cigarette and blow the smoke out of his mouth. "What about you?" He asked me after 15 seconds silent "What?" I asked him back "Your girl" I let a little laugh "Gerard said she's fine. If I can't meet her again, I don't know what would I do. But at least, she won't be with someone that easily broke her heart" I look at the ground. Every single thing at that night come to my brain like a broken record that can't stop playing even we already push the stop button.

"I will go for a walk a little bit" I said and get up "It's already 5" I nodded and walk away. I pocket my phone and start walking to god knows where. I walk a lonely road, the only one that I have ever known, don't know where it goes, but it's home to me and I walk alone. Boulevard of broken dreams by green day keep playing in my head. Suddenly my phone vibrate, a text from Katelynn 

"I see you"

I look up from my phone and look around me, Katelynn is here? How can she's here? Is her house keep moving like our bus, or she's not at her house? What am I talking about. I see someone standing near the tree and look at the sky, like want to fight the sun that want to came up, blue hair. Valerie? I punch something near me and feel pain on my arms, not a dream. I walk closer to her, I tapped on her shoulder. And she turn around and all can I do is smiling as wide as I can. I hug her tightly, really tight. "Where were you?" That's all I can say. "I can't stay here, Mikey. I just want to say I love you. And if this is the last time we ever met, please remember me." She said and grab something in her pocket. A necklace. "Keep it, use it to remember me. I just want you to remember that I love you so so so much. But I'm sorry, I can't be with you. I love you" she said. She hand me the necklace and grab my face, she kissed my lips, a goodbye kiss. "Why?" I asked, she shook her head "I just can't. We didn't mean to be together. You deserve better, Mikey. I love you" and then she runaway like she always did. I want to run after her but I feel like frozen. I can't move my feet. All I can do was stare at her and see her disappear.