Kill me? (Mikey Way Fanfiction)

Chapter 14

"I mean, I saw her, I really really saw her. I got a text that said I see you from Katelynn and then I saw Valerie. I hug her, I kissed her. And she said goodbye, she said she loved me, but she left and said I deserve better. How can I have someone's better when what I have is the best thing ever?" I told Max after that early morning walk and the goodbye kiss with the tears that streaming down my face heavily. "I can't lose her, Max. I can't. If I know it will end up like this, I wish we never met at all, even I wish I killed her like she wanted me to do." The tears still came out through my eyes, I know I look like the weakest person in this world. But what else can I do? "Well, Mikey. Sometimes, life can't be what we want. But we can't turn back time, right? Now, if you love her, and you want a reason why she left, then search for it. But it probably can make you feel even worse than now. If you don't want to feel hurt anymore, try to move on. Try to forget her." 

I really want to punch Max in his face, did he know that it's hard to forget about someone that give you so much to remember? But before I punch him, he continue his speech "Believe me, I know it's hard to lose someone you're deeply in love with. I know how does it feel, it takes me about six or seven years to move on." Six or seven years? Great, Max. Such a loyal person. It takes me three years to find someone new, and when I found her, I lost her again. "But I just found her. I just found a better place to move onto" I said "It's up to you, Mikey. If you wanted a reason go search for it. But don't waste your time on person that not worth your time. If you think that she's worth it, then go ahead. I will take a rest for a moment before we start to move again tonight. Try to enjoy this night, Mikey. We hate to see you sad." He patted my back and I nodded. Was she worth it? Yes. Then find a reason, Mikey. 

I keep thinking about it, what on earth possible reason that she left me and told me to find a new one. Does she ever think about my feeling? It's not that easy to find a girl like her. What if she mean she's on dangerous, her family already know where she was. Or maybe her family said that they will kill me and my friends if she still don't want to come home? What if they really found her and hurt her again? I will tell Gerard about it, and I will keep searching on her while we're touring, and when we got back to our house, I will go to her place and kick some asses. I lay down on my bunk and close my eyes, maybe if I sleep, this pain will go away for a while.