Kill me? (Mikey Way Fanfiction)

Chapter 16

I've never been felt so good before, it's like I'm alive again after a whole year being death. Sometimes you need to let go because holding on will cause more damage, they said. And they're right. If you waste your whole year inside your house or inside your room, you feel not hungry even you don't eat about 2 days, or you feel tired even all you did was just laying on your bed and thinking. Well, it's time to let it go then. I've been better, now Gerard don't need to be worried too much about me who didn't want to come out my room even just for a second.

It's 8 in the morning, I decided I will go out again today. This time I will go to the coffee shop when I've met Valerie, but not to memorized her or try to find her there. But just for relax, and enjoy a cup of my favorite coffee. "Hey Gerard. I will go to the coffee shop, you want a cup?" I asked my brother who sit on the couch, watching TV. "Sure, why not" He said without even looking at me. I nodded my head, grab my phone, and go outside the house, walking to my one and only favorite coffee shop near my house.

"Hey Mikey. Long time no see, how are you?" the old lady said as soon as I open the door, causing the bell rang. "I'm doing fine, thanks." I said and smile at her "I thought you just stop drink coffee or just found a better place to drink coffee." She said again with a sad smile that always got me. "No. I won't find a better place than this" I said and smile one more time.

After paying for my and Gerard's coffee, I'm about to go home. If it's not a girl with a redhead and familiar face, I would on the street walking back home. It isn't real, I thought to myself. I walk past her but she didn't said anything. Yes, it isn't real. I think I'm going insane, I just saw her illusion inside the coffee shop. But I won't tell Gerard about it, I won't him to yell at me again about being so stupid. 

"I thought you would remember me longer than a year" I hear a familiar voice. No, it can't be her voice. It's just my hallucination. "Mikey!" She said. I dare myself to turn around, try to prove myself that it just an illusion. But I saw her standing there, I saw those eyes that always make me lost for hours, I saw her hair that back to her natural color, I saw her lips that I still can remember how did it taste, I saw her body that always make me want to hug her. I saw her. It can't be real.

"Mikey, it's me. Do you even remember my name?" She said "Do you even remember you have a girl in your life named Valerie?" She said again. I shook my head, try to make that illusion stop being so real. "Mikey, it's me" She said, walk towards me, touch my cheek with those pretty little hands that compare to mine. "It can't be real" I whisper. I saw the tears that falling from her beautiful eyes, I saw pain in her eyes. "I am real" She whisper back to me. I keep shook my head. "You...Val? Valerie?" I suddenly don't know what to said. All of the questions inside my head a year ago seems to be disappeared, I don't even know how to say hi to her. 

She nodded her head. "Yes. Yes I am." She said. And then I hug her. I hug her so tight, and don't even bother with two cups of coffees that fall onto the ground and to my shoes. "I've missed you" She said. I pulled away, look deeply into her eyes. "Where were you?" I asked. That's all I can asked to her. "I-I've been hiding." She said. I pull her into another tight hug. 

"I can't stay any longer. My sister would be worried so much. Promise me that we're going to meet again at that coffee shop. Probably three days from now, at the same time. Please, Mikey" She said to me. How can I said no to her? Who am I kidding, I really am still love her so much. I nodded my head, hug her one more time "I need to go" She said "See you soon" and then she left me again, just like another time. She always left me.

I walk home without even re-buying our coffee, I still can feel the pain in my chest whenever I saw her, heard her voice, or touched her. I opened the door and get inside just to find Gerard still on the couch, watching the same program. "Sorry, our coffee split of off my hands. There was a dog chasing me." I lied to him, keeping the most guilty face instead a sad face. "Oh, okay then. It's okay." He said, but this time he's looking at me. "You're lying, aren't you?" He said to the point. I shook my head, I couldn't be here any longer, I would broke in tears and make him feel worry again. "I'm just tired" I said as I walk to my bedroom. 

I collapse on my bed, crying as quite as I can so Gerard won't hear me. I keep telling myself never again, but here I am. Trapped in a same situation like before, or maybe even worse. Just one more step to forget her, but then she came back. I still choose to moved on, she told me to search the love of my life, so I will do that for her. I won't go back, I won't let her back and destroy every single pieces of me again, no more.

And then there's me. A guy that  trying his best to forget about what happened in his life in a goddamn one year, and then a girl destroy it just in a second. Life is unfair, it really is.