Could this be love?

Chapter twenty-four

Andy's point of view 

The short five-minute walk from the hospital to my car seemed to be the longest walk of my life.  The silence between Jinxx and myself was awkward, a clear sign that he wasn't happy with me, and although his hand was intertwined with mine, his grip was loose and unsure. Almost as if he didn't want to hold my hand but felt like he had to. I knew he was mad at me, he made that pretty clear, but I had no idea why he was mad.

What the fuck did I do? 

Before I could ask him, he cleared his throat to break the silence.

"Andy, you need to make up with Ashley." He said quietly, keeping his gaze forward so that he wasn't looking at me. I sighed but never said anything. What could I say to that? I have tried to make up with him, remain his friend, but he didn't want that. 

"Andy, seriously." Jinxx said, annoyance clear in his voice.

I looked sideways at Jinxx and sighed before looking forward again.

"I have tried." I replied quietly.  I was annoyed that he was mad at me for something I couldn’t control, but I was too tired to let it show in my voice.  I sounded dull and dead of all emotions.

We reached my car then and Jinxx released my hand, moving to the passenger side. I reached into my back pocket and struggled to remove the keys since my jeans were pretty tight. As I was struggling, Jinxx watched me from over top of the car, leaning on his hands. I didn't look up at him though, I didn't want to see his disappointment in me, so I just focused intensely on the task at hand. 

"You obviously haven't tried hard enough." Jinxx said suddenly, carrying on out conversation from minutes before.

I stopped fishing for my keys and looked at him, shocked and slightly hurt at his accusations.

“I have tried, Jinxx!  Ashley doesn’t want to be friends. I’ve tried texting and calling him loads of times, and when that didn’t work I’ve tried talking to him in person.  I’ve even tried asking him to hang out.  He avoids me like the plague.”  I finished quietly.  I looked down, tears forming in my eyes, thinking of Ashley.  I still loved him and if it wasn’t for what he did to me, we’d probably still be together.  Don’t get me wrong; I love Jinxx with all my heart and I wanted nothing more than to be with him, but there will always be a part of me that wishes he was Ashley.  

Funny isn’t it?  How only a few months ago I thought of Jinxx whenever I was with Ashley, wishing it was Jinxx I was kissing instead.  A tear rolled down my cheek and dripped off the end of my nose. 

“Aanndyyy.”  I heard Jinxx whine, getting more and more annoyed with every passing moment.

“What?”  I asked, more harshly than I meant to.  Jinxx looked taken aback for a moment, but then just glared at me.

“Did you hear a single word I just said?” 

“No.”   I admitted, returning his glare.  Jinxx sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Nice.”  He said, his voice cold and void of emotion.   He was starting to pull away from me emotionally, and I knew it was my fault.

“Are you going to tell me what you said?”  I asked softly, not letting my annoyance show through my voice.  I didn’t want to lose Jinxx more than I already had, so I had to watch what I say and how I act towards him so that I don’t push him away more than I have.

Jinxx sighed and his face relaxed for a moment, sympathy and sadness replacing the anger.

“You need to make up with Ash, Andy.  I miss him a lot, we all do, and I can tell that you miss him the most.  You still love him Andy-”