Could this be love?

Chapter Thirty-One

Jinxx’s Point of View

Andy pulled away from Ashley and smiled as he brought a hand up to Ashley’s face to gently rub his thumb against Ashley’s cheek.  Even standing as far away as I was from them I could see the pure love they had for each other, and I felt my heart shatter into a thousand sharp pieces. 

I wanted to storm up to them.  I wanted to scream at Ashley and slap Andy across the face.  I wanted to cause a huge scene so that everyone would know how hurt I was.  And I wanted to break down and start sobbing on the floor, but I couldn’t.  Doing all those things would mean losing Andy, and even though I knew he cheated on me by fucking Ashley last night, and even though I just saw Andy kiss Ashley right in front of me, I still loved Andy more than anything in the world.  I blinked back my tears and calmly walked up to my boyfriend and best friend.

“Andy?”  I whispered so that my voice wouldn’t crack and betray the fact that I wanted nothing more than to break down and cry.

Andy turned and looked at me.  When he realised it was me his eyes widened.  His fear filled eyes showed that clearly he was wondering just how much I had seen. 

“Can I talk to you for a minute?  Please?”

“Uh, yeah.  Of course.”  Andy replied, his voice shaky and unsure. 

I turned to Ashley and forced a sad smile.  As much as I wished I could hate him, I couldn’t.  After all, it was Andy that had kissed him, and Andy that had gone over to his house last night.  Besides, in a way I had stolen Andy away from Ashley to begin with.  Yes, Andy was the one who had dumped Ashley and had chosen to be with me, but wasn’t I the one who leaned in to kiss Andy that one day in the bathroom?  Wasn’t I the one that constantly flirted with Andy despite the fact that I knew that he was dating Ashley?  Wasn’t I the one who had agreed to be Andy’s boyfriend, even though I knew how heartbroken and how much Ashley loved and cared about Andy? 

So even though I wanted nothing more than to hate and blame everything on Ashley I couldn’t because I had basically done the exact same thing to him.

“We’ll be back.”  I said.  “Hold our spot in line?”

“Sure.”  Ashley replied weakly, glancing quickly at Andy who was standing quietly beside me. 

I forced a smile again and walked away, only looking back once to make sure Andy was following.  I led him down the escalator and out the front doors so that he could have a smoke during out talk.  Andy always needed to chain-smoke during stressful situations. 

I stood by one of the benches and shivered slightly as the chilly wind blew through my hair.  Andy came to a stop in front of me and I watched as he reached into his pocket to grab his first of many smokes to come. 

“What is it baby?”  He asked quietly, trying to sound cheerful.  He failed miserably. 

“I know.”  I replied simply.  It wasn’t in an aggressive tone.  If anything I just sounded tired.

Andy froze with his unlit smoke still in his mouth, lighter half way to the smoke.  He decided to play dumb.

“Know about what?”  This time Andy didn’t even try to pretend to be cheerful.  He knew what I was talking about; the kiss.  What he didn’t know is I knew about everything.

“I know you still love him.  I know you still want to be with him.  I know about the kiss you shared just now.  And I know about last night.”

“What?”  Andy whispered, tears coming to his eyes.  He didn’t even try and deny any of it.  There wasn’t a point.  “How could you know about last night?”