China Doll [DaraGon/NyongDal]

{ prologue }

{ prologue }

Huminga ako ng malalim. I've been to auditions for a number of times and even landed some minor roles in the past, but I know that this audition is far from minor. This is what I've been dreaming of: a lead role in a drama. Matagal na akong pinipilit ng mga kaibigan kong mag-audition para sa mga TV series but I always shoot them down because I'm afraid.

Afraid of what, exactly? Rejection and failure, mostly. But more than that, I'm afraid of crossing paths with him again.

Him, Kwon Jiyong.

At minsan hindi ko rin naiintindihan sa sarili ko kung bakit nga ba ako natatakot na harapin siya. It's not like may kailangan pa kaming balikan sa isa't-isa. Tapos na kami. We were forever ago. Wala na akong dapat ikatakot kung magkita man kami. It's not as if it's my fault that we broke up.

Which is why I'm here, in front of KBS' building to audition for a role in a drama. The station will be remaking Taiwan's Devil Beside You, and they wanted a fresh face for the main heroine. There had been several actors that they consider for the opposite role, but nothing's been finalized yet as of the moment.

Huminga ako ng malalim bago nag-martsa papasok sa loob ng building. I stopped by the receptionist who was smiling amicably. "Are you here for the audition, miss?" Tanong sa akin ng babae.

Tipid akong ngumiti bago tumango. "Identification, please?" Sagot niya. Agad ko namang iniabot ang ID ko bago niya ako binigyan ng visitor's pass. "Good luck, miss! Auditions are on the 16th floor." Huling sabi niya sa akin bago ako tumango at nagpasalamat.

I went straight to the elevator and took a deep breath before pushing the number '16' button. Malakas ang kabog ng dibdib ko habang pinapanood ko ang mabilis na pag-akyat ng elevator. It didn't take long before it finally stopped on the sixteenth floor and my heart was going wild with nerves.

I quietly got out of the lift, squaring my shoulders. Don't be a chicken, Dara, I reminded myself. You should do your best for this once in a lifetime chance!

I swallowed before going straight to the table where the registration is taking place. Pinagsulat ako sa isang papel bago ako binigyan ng numero. 818, I distastefully shook my head. Sa dinami-rami ba naman ng numero, talagang 818 pa ang napunta sa'kin. Talk about misfortunes.

"Diretso ka na lang sa third door on your left, Ms. Park," the woman behind the desk instructed me. "The organizer will be there in a few to instruct you."

"Thank you." Sagot ko atsaka dumiretso sa tinurong hall. I gingerly opened the door only to find out that it is an auditorium, and a large one at that. Ilang beses akong napalunok nang mapagtanto ko kung gaano karaming mga babae ang naririto sa araw na 'to para mag-audition. Eight hundred plus girls vying for one role... I can feel the bile on my stomach rise at the thought.

Some were chatting while the others were busy checking their looks. Halatang pinaghandaan talaga nila 'yung audition. The others were wearing really fashionable clothes while the other half was very formal. I insecurely tugged at the hem of my blouse. I look like an out of place office girl in the midst of everyone.

No Dara, stop the pity party! Sigaw ng boses sa isip ko. I quietly walked to find a seat to at least relax. Nakahanap ako ng upuan sa medyo dulo ng auditorium and I felt a bit better blending in.

Another half an hour passed and the whole place filled up. Maya-maya ay isa-isang pumasok ang mga judges. I gulped. I notice some of the faces. There are two renowned actresses, one producer, and one director. They were smiling at us and telling us to be comfortable, pero parang mas lalo lang sumikip ang dibdib ko sa kaba.

"Good day, ladies!" Masiglang bati ng organizer na nasa stage. "Currently, the other staffs are handing out the sample script. Please study and interpret them in your own way. We will be giving you ten minutes to internalize, then we'll call each one by number. We have five judges here with us today, the last one is just running late but he'll be here soon. Thank you and good luck!"

Nang mahawakan ko ang script ay nanginginig na ang kamay ko. It was a scene taken from the Taiwanese version of the drama. Being a drama geek myself, I recognized that this was the part when the female lead wrongly accused the guy. She was absolutely livid. I swallowed before bitterly smiling. This scene looks so familiar, only I didn't wrongly accuse anyone. I was only telling the truth.

Binasa ko ng paulit-ulit ang script at nag-internalize habang may oras pa. I'm sure na matagal pa bago ako matawag, since pang-818 pa ako. Nagsimula ng magtawag ang organizers at isa-isang nagsiakyatan sa stage ang mga aspiring actresses katulad ko.

I won't deny it, magagaling din sila. May iilan na parang naligaw lang but mostly, they all look serious. Nadagdagan lang ang kaba ko habang pinapanood sila kaya naman nag-concentrate na lang ako sa pagbabasa ng script sa halip na manood pa.

Time passed quickly. Before I knew it, nasa 800 plus na pala ang number na tinatawag. Huminga ako ng malalim nang matapos ang pang-817. "Candidate 818," tawag ng organizer.

Tumayo ako at dumiretso sa hagdan sa gilid ng stage habang nakayuko. You can do it, Dara. I cheered myself as I ascended each step. Nang nasa gitna na ako ng entablado ay naghanda ako ng ngiti bago inangat ang ulo ko. Give it your best shot–

The smile in my lips faded and my eyes widened as soon as I saw that familiar brown eyes.

Kwon Jiyong.

He was expressionless as he looked at me. There was indifference in his eyes, na para bang hindi niya ako kilala. It's been years, after all. He's not the same person I loved anymore. Sa dinami-rami ba namang glamorosang babaeng nakapaligid sa kanya, imposibleng maalala niya pa na minsan sa buhay niya, minahal ko siya ng buong-buo.

I heaved a deep breath before pasting the smile back on my lips. Hindi na ako dapat magpa-apekto sa kanya.

"Good day, I'm Park Dara." Pagpapakilala ko.

Jung Hyeyoung, one of the veteran actresses, nodded. "Good luck, Dara-ssi," she said with a smile. "The floor is yours."

Tumango ako at pumikit bago huminga ng malalim para maghanda. I temporarily forgot everyone inside the hall with their eyes on me and focused on the emotions needed for me to perform the scene.

"Why did you expose my letter?" Nanginginig ang boses na simula ko. "Did making fun of me made you happy?"

"Did you think I was serious with... this?

"Did it make you proud?!"

"I didn't think you'd fall that hard for me."

I clenched my jaw as I recalled everything. I swallowed even though I can feel the pinpricks of tears on my eyes. Damn it, I'm not supposed to cry for this scene! "Truth is, it makes you sad and pitiful because you've never liked anybody..."

"What makes you think na sa dinami-rami ng babaeng dumaan sa'kin, ikaw ang seseryosohin ko?"

"...so you have no regards for other people's feelings." I felt the telltale sign of warmness rolling down my cheek. Sa iba't-ibang klase ng interpretation ng mga nag-audition, ako lang yata ang umiyak. Everyone had pure rage as they spouted the lines. I'm sure I messed up, now. Thanks a lot, Kwon. You're still haunting me even though it'd been years. "People's emotions can't be so easily manipulated." Pagtatapos ko sa monologue.

Mabilis kong pinunasan ang luha ko at hindi na hinintay na pababain ako ng stage. Kusa na akong umalis at tahimik na dumiretso sa back door para pumunta sa comfort room habang nagpapatuloy ang audition.

I splashed the icy cold water on my face. What was he thinking when he saw me on top of that stage? When he saw my name on the list? Did he even feel something, anything at all?

Pagak akong tumawa. Impossible, Sandara.

--

Another ongoing story lol. I recently watched Devil Beside You sooooo... ;D Btw, Dara's monologue was taken from the first episode of DBY! <3

-X