China Doll [DaraGon/NyongDal]

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Happy holidays! -X

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Pagbalik namin sa set ay tahimik kaming dalawa ni Jiyong. Pagpasok namin sa loob ay agad kaming dinumog ng staffs at crew. "Okay lang ba kayo, Jiyong-ssi, Dara-ssi?" Nag-aalalang tanong sa'min ni Director Kim. Kumpleto ang apat na producers ng series na nasa likuran niya at agad akong binalutan ng hiya dahil talagang pumunta pa sila para lang siguruhin na safe kami.

Itinungo ko ang ulo ko bago ako sumagot. "Okay lang po kami. Nagkaro'n lang po talaga ng maliit na problema, but we're not harmed. We apologize for worrying you." Tahimik kong sagot.

"Pasensya na po," dagdag naman ni Jiyong na nag-bow din.

Tumango-tango si Director Kim. "It's okay. Things like that happen and we understand. Sa susunod lang, mag-ingat kayo. This goes for everyone of you. Paano kung sa susunod ay hindi kayo makapagtago at masaktan pa kayo?" Napailing si Director Kim at maging ako ay hindi ko maisip kung anong kapupuntahan namin kung hindi kami nakapagtago ni Jiyong. "Alright, alright! Let's leave them alone now, malamang ay hindi pa nakakakain ng maayos ang dalawang 'to."

Isa-isang nagpulasan paalis ang mga tao. Ang natira na lang ay ako, si Jiyong, si Yoona, si Kiyong, at ang manager ni Jiyong. "Dara-ssi, Jiyong, nag-iwan ako ng pagkain ninyo do'n sa tent ni Jiyong. Doon na lang muna kayo kumain. I already asked the director's permission kaya wala kayong kailangang problemahin." Nakangiting sabi niya.

"Thanks, hyung." Seryosong sagot pa rin ni Jiyong. Tumango naman ako at ngumiti rin pabalik. "Thank you, Soonho-ssi."

"You can just call me Soonho oppa. I'm older than you, right?" Nakatawang sabi niya at nahihiyang tumango naman ako. "Alright, I'll leave you guys alone. Bye Yoona, Kiyong-ssi." Sabay na tumango sina Yoona kay Soonho oppa bago umalis.

Nang tuluyang makaalis si Soonho oppa ay nilapitan agad ako ni Kiyong. "Are you sure you're okay?" Nag-aalala pa ring tanong niya.

Ubos ang lakas na tumango ako. "Yup, I'm fine. No problem, Kiyong."

He sighed, obviously devastated with how things turned out. "I'm really sorry, Dee. Hindi sana 'to mangyayari ku–"

Umiling agad ako. "C'mon, Kiyong. Wala namang kinalaman 'yun. And I'm sorry din dahil sa nangyari kanina. I was just tensed, I guess."

He smiled at me, but a hint of worry was still in his eyes. I chuckled before reaching up to pat his head. "Kulit ng batang 'to. Okay nga lang ako, swear! No need to worry about me."

"Sigurado ka, ah?" Paniniguro niya pa.

I cheerfully nodded my head to finally get him to believe. "Yes, father." I jokingly responded, and he finally laughed.

"Okay then, as long as you're good, I am too." Tumingin siya sa orasan niya. "Oops, gotta go now. I'll shoot my scenes first sabi ni Director Kim." He patted my head before turning to Jiyong and Yoona who were talking quietly. "Jiyong, Yoona, mauna na muna ako sa inyo." Paalam niya bago umalis.

"I still don't understand all this fuss, Ji." I heard Yoona sternly said. I bit my lip before turning my back on them. Ayoko namang isipin nilang sadya akong nakikinig sa usapan nila.

"You don't have to, Yoong." Jiyong shot back. He sighed. "Look, we're hungry and tired. Cut me some slack here."

"Fine. But you still have a lot of explaining to do." Rinig kong sagot ni Yoona. "Dara!" She called out, making me turn to her. "I'll leave first. You guys eat well!" Ngiti niya sa amin bago naglakad papunta sa sarili niyang tent.

Which leaves Jiyong and I alone... again. I internally shook my head. Why do these circumstances just push us together?! Nakakainis na ang tadhana.

"Let's go." Tawag niya sa atensyon ko bago naunang naglakad papunta sa tent niya. When we got inside, I immediately saw two plastics of fast food on the center table. Umupo ako habang inaayos niya ang mga pagkain.

I have no idea what to say. Pagkatapos ng sagutan namin kanina, hindi ko alam kung paano ako aakto ngayong kaming dalawa na lang ang natira. And I'm still curious, why was he insisting to talk to me? He slept well for years even after that happened, bakit ngayon niya lang naisip na kausapin ako?

"You don't have to be so stiff. Hindi naman ako nangangagat." Biglang komento niya. Wala sa loob na iniangat ko ang paningin ko sa kanya. He stared back for a moment before sighing and sitting down across from me. "Look, maybe you're curious why I wanted to talk. Well..." Iniwas niya ang tingin niya sa akin at nagsimulang buksan ang pagkain sa harap niya. "We will be in this project for months, maybe even a year or so. During that time, there will be photoshoots, press conferences, and various appearances here and there. Kung ganito tayo palagi, people are bound to notice something. They're not blind, you know?" Inangat niya ang tingin niya at sinalubong ako. It was my turn to feel awkward as I began fumbling clumsily with the food in front of me. Narinig ko ang mahina niyang "tsk" bago kinuha mula sa kamay ko ang pagkain at siya na mismo ang nagbukas. "I know this isn't the best time or place, but I want to apologize for doing that to you."

I met his eyes and they were just as intense as they were back in high school. No, I guess they're more intense now. More... experienced. Back then, his eyes were light and playful, always sparkling with mischief. I don't know what to feel for the change.

You don't have to feel anything about it! Come on, Park, you haven't encountered the guy for years and you were wondering what to feel about his eyes?!?

Huminga ako ng malalim. "I... I've been– wanting to ask you this, you know, since... forever." Pagak akong tumawa. "Bakit?"

I looked at his reaction and his face looked like he was punched in the gut with my question. Bumukas ang bibig niya at naghintay akong sumagot siya, but I was surprised when he closed it again. Para bang hindi niya rin alam kung ano ang tamang isagot.

Not that there's a right answer to my question, anyway...

"H–honestly?" He heaved a deep breath. "I... I don't know. Peer pressure, I guess? Or maybe I'm just a natural-born asshole," he laughed without mirth. "Hindi ko rin alam, Dara. All I know is that I'm sorry, and I hope this would lessen the impact of the pain I brought to you because of what I did."

Kung magpapakatotoo ako, wala namang nabago ang "sorry" niya. In actuality, wala naman talagang kayang baguhin ang isang "sorry" niya. Because everything's already done. Nangyari na 'yun noon pa man at hindi niya na mababago ang ilang taong pag-iisip ko tungkol do'n.

Imagine, I was afraid to invest myself fully to anyone because of what he did. I was scared to fall in love and let someone too close because I don't want to be hurt anymore. And then here he comes, sweeping in to apologize and say that he too, didn't know why he did what he did back then? I don't know what that would make me feel.

What is weird is... why do I feel better with that one "sorry" from him?