China Doll [DaraGon/NyongDal]

{ 19 }

Happy Lunar New Year! -X

{ 19 }

I woke up early the next morning. May bagong scene kaming ishu-shoot for today. Thankfully though, makakasama na namin 'yung ibang casts, unlike yesterday. It was a very welcome distraction, kahit na naguguluhan pa rin ang utak at damdamin ko sa lahat ng nangyari kagabi.

"Darong?" Untag sa akin ni Minji sa hapag. Napapitlag ako atsaka napatingin sa kanya at doon ko lang napansin na nakatingin na pala silang tatlo sa akin. Maging si Bom na kausap sa phone 'yung boss niyang alien ay napahinto na rin sa pagsasalita at nakakunot na ang noo.

"Ah? Bakit?" Patay-malisya kong sagot atsaka nagkunwaring abala sa paglalagay ng pagkain sa plato ko pero hindi pa rin nila ako tinatantanan ng pagtitig.

Nagulat ako nang biglang pigilan ni Bom ang kamay ko. "Anong nangyari kagabi, Sandara?" She asked in all seriousness.

"Nothing!" I answered a tad too early to recoil their suspicions. Marahan muna akong lumunok bago ngumiti. "Ano namang mangyayari?"

"Your actions say it all, Dara." Chaerin sternly responded. "No'ng dinala ni Jjangmae oppa 'yung gamit mo kagabi, sabi niya nag-dinner daw kayo ni Kwon Jiyong. Totoo ba 'yun?"

I stared at their expectant faces. Para bang hinihintay nilang pabulaanan ko ang sinabi ni Jjangmae oppa– and I want to, really. I don't want to disappoint them. These are the people who stood by me through thick and thin. Yes, maybe they weren't there yet when Jiyong hurt and humiliated me in the past, but they made me feel love and support that's more than I really deserve when we finally got together. They helped me build my confidence again and they made sure I know my importance.

But I can't lie to them. Dahan-dahan kong itinungo ang ulo ko bago sumagot sa maliit na tinig, "Oo."

I wasn't even aware that my fists were clenched in nervousness. I was holding my breath as I wait for them to react. Ilang segundo ring walang nagsalita sa pagitan naming apat bago binasag ni Bom ang katahimikan. "Dara, look," panimula niya. Itinaas ko ang paningin ko at kitang-kita ko kung paano siya nahihirapang pagsabihan ako nang hindi ako nasasaktan. "If I remember correctly, sinabihan ka na rin ni Minji dati nito– na hindi mo maiaalis sa aming mag-alala kasi kaibigan mo kami at mahal ka namin. Obviously, it follows na we don't want you to get hurt. You understand, right?" I nodded in affirmation. "Still, this is your life. Kung hindi pa sapat sa'yo 'yung pananakit sa'yo dati ng Kwon Jerk na 'yun para matuto ka, go. Hahayaan ka namin sa kung anumang gusto mong gawin."

"Hindi ka namin pipigilan." Si Chaerin. "Because maybe this is what you need. A rude awakening to slap you back to your senses. Kasi baka pagkatapos nito, kung sasaktan ka niya uli– god forbid– baka maintindihan mo na 'yung dahilan kung bakit ganito kami ka-protective sa'yo."

Chaerin's words were harsh, and it only added salt to the wounds from last night. Naiintindihan ko sila. I understand their fears by heart because I also harbor those feelings inside me. I've seen those fears come to life and I myself wonder why I'm being like this.

"Dara-yah," Minji gently called out. "No matter how this ends, we'll be here. Siguro nga tama si Chae. Maybe this is what you need. We won't stop you to try again. Kung anuman 'yung desisyon mo, susuportahan ka namin. You know that we only wish for your happiness, Dee. At kung si Kwon Jiyong ang tunay na may kakayanan na ibigay 'yun sa'yo..." Nagkibit siya ng balikat atsaka ngumiti. "...wala kami sa lugar para tumutol."

Hindi pa ako nakakapagisip ng isasagot ko nang biglang tumayo si Chaerin mula sa upuan niya. "I'll go first. May tatapusin pa akong report." Pagdadahilan niya atsaka mabibilis ang mga hakbang na lumabas.

Bom took a quick glance at her watch before standing up. "Gotta go too. May meeting pa ng maaga si alien eh." Tiningnan niya ako at lumambot ang titig niya bago siya umikot sa may pwesto ko. She embraced me while patting my right cheek. "We're just concerned, Dee. But just as what Minkki said, we're here no matter what." She stood up straight and gently ruffled my hair before saying goodbye once more.

"Ikaw, hindi ka pa ba aalis?" Tanong ni Minji sa'kin. "9 AM ang calltime ninyo today, 'di ba?"

Tumango ako. "You look so worn." Komento niya atsaka tumayo. "I'll ready your clothes, maligo ka na." Huling sabi niya bago ako naiwang mag-isa sa dining room.

In the years that I've spent alone in Seoul, those three girls had been my pillar. I was a wreck after what Jiyong did to me. I wasn't able to mourn my heartbreak properly because I don't want my family to know and I don't really have any real friends at school. When my family moved back to our hometown in Busan after I graduated high school, I thought I was going to be lonely for the rest of my college days, but thankfully, I met the three of them. That was the only time when I properly let out all my grievances. They helped me cope and made new memories with me as I struggled to fix myself. I don't want to disappoint them, ever.

Bumuntong-hininga ako bago dumiretso sa banyo. I need to stop thinking for a while.

--

A jolly Kiyong welcomed me as soon as I arrived on the set. As per usual, everyone was hustling back and forth. Nagbatian kami ng ilang mga staff na nakasalubong ko bago ako nakarating sa tapat ni Kiyong. "Good morning!" Magiliw na bati niya. "What's up?"

Hindi ko naman napigilan ang pagkunot ng noo ko kasabay ng ngiti. "Anong meron? Ba't ang saya mo naman yata masyado?"

"Wow ha!" Parang gulat niya namang sagot. "Lagi akong masaya, Dara. 'Wag ka ngang imbento d'yan!"

"Weh!" Pang-aasar ko naman. "Hindi talaga eh, parang may iba sa'yo ngayong araw." Pilit ko pa.

Umiling-iling naman siya. "What-e-ver, Park." He rolled his eyes like a kid and I couldn't help but to grin. Thank goodness for Jang Kiyong, who always makes me laugh whenever I feel like beheading myself. "Want some coffee? Nabigyan ko na si Yoona kanina." Dagdag niya pa.

Para naman akong naitulos sa kinatatayuan ko nang marinig ko ang pangalan niya. I swallowed before composing myself. "Andyan na sila?" Kaswal kong tanong na para bang hindi naghuhuramentado ang dibdib ko.

Mabilis na tumango si Kiyong. "Yup! Jiyong was here earlier, though. I heard from the staffs na sobrang aga niya raw nakarating. Around 6 AM pa lang yata?" Nagkibit siya ng balikat. "Ayun. He had been holed up inside his tent the whole time."

6 AM? Bakit ang aga naman niya? Nagtataka kong naisip pero binalewala ko na. Hindi mo na problema 'yun, Dara! If he wants to come early, then he can do whatever he wants!

"So, what do you say about coffee?" Tanong uli ni Kiyong. Tumango na lang ako atsaka siya sinundan sa sarili niyang trailer.

I was spaced out the whole time he was pouring the coffee from the thermos. Nagulat pa ako nang dalawang cup ang iniabot niya sa akin. "O, iinom ka rin?" Tanong ko.

Kumunot ang noo niya. "No. Kay Jiyong 'yan. 'Di ba sabi ni Soonho hyung kung pwede raw bigyan ko rin si Jiyong?"

Bahagya pang nanlaki ang mga mata ko. Sobrang wala ba ako sa sarili na dumating at nakaalis si Soonho oppa ay wala pa rin akong napansin sa paligid?!

Umiling na lang si Kiyong. "It's a right choice to have coffee, Dara. Baka maalis 'yang pagka-lutang mo," tawa niya. "Ikaw na magdala niyan do'n, tinatawag ako ng manager ko eh. See you in a bit!" Hindi na ako nakapagsalita dahil pagtingin ko ay naroon na siya sa tapat ng manager niya.

I stared at the two cups in my hand before cursing Jang Kiyong as I slowly walked towards Jiyong's tent.