Zerrie baby

Chapter 23

Skylers story
Perries Pov : There hasn't been one day since she's left I haven't thought about her. I haven't once not felt a sudden sadness , as I see her princess dress hanging in my closet. I still get shooting pains,when I walk past her room. Every night I lay in bed wishing , she was still here that I would wake up and see her. I still peek into her room in the mornings sometimes. When you lose a child you lose yourself. Your life slowly unravels right before your eyes. It feels like I was trapped in a nightmare. I never ending nightmare that I can never wake up from. Suddenly I forgot how to be a mum , Fey practically lived at my mums house. I started to lose track of where she was staying. I never thought I'd forget the sound of my own daughters voice or her touch. Now I would do anything, just to have her back in my arms again. Except that's just a fantasy.

I saw the flashing lights reflect off Feys face. Her cheeks were stained with tears , her hands covered in blood. I closed my eyes , praying this wasn't real. That my daughter,was not covered in her sisters blood. I prayed that when I opened my eyes , that both my girls would be still sound asleep. I felt a light touch on my shoulder , " mam are you going to ride with your daughter?"
I opened my mouth , except I couldn't manage to speak. I stared at the paramedic blankly.
" Mam , I need an answer we need to leave now."
" ye-yes."
I stepped into the ambulance, I looked seeing a giant mask, over my tiny baby's head. I placed my hand in hers , then leaned in and whispered in her ear.
" everything's going to be alright baby girl , I'm right here beside you."
The two paramedics , spoke fast and in medical terms.

  The door flung open as more people took her out. Her grip from my hand, was pulled away. Soon my vision went blurry. everything happened so fast. I ran after her but was held back. When I tried to speak , i had a lost for words. " that's my daughter let me through," I yelled my focus was set on her.
" she's in good hands , she'll be fine well need to see her medical information."
I stood still watching the doors close behind her. My breathing soon picked up , " mm-my husband has everything, do you know where he is I need him."
I tried to listen to the person talk , his words flew right over me. I kept replaying what happened over and over again. Everything happened so fast I didn't process it all. My heart was pounding, my head was spinning.
" I-I need Zayn , I-I need him right now please take me to him." I began to yell at the doctor.
" mam I know your stressed out , but I need you to calm down."
" calm down , how can I calm down after what I just witnessed. I just witnessed my biggest fear come true. I can't calm down that's my baby , She's scared of the dark you think she can handle this on her own ? Do you really think I could possible calm down ? "
He then spoke to me very quite , " I'm sorry I'll take you to your husband."

    I held Feys hand tightly , we both watched Zayn talk to the doctors. Fey hasn't spoken,since she's gotten here. She just stares at people around us. I've been trying to get someone to pick her up except, I don't know who to tell. I know as soon as someone asks ,
" is everything okay" I will break down instantly. Zayns been talking to the doctor for a long time. When I volunteered to speak to him , Zayn instantly told me to stay with Fey. It's frustrating we've been here for three hours, and I haven't once seen Skyler. More the anything I want to hold her hand. She needs her mum right now , I need to know what's happening to her. Soon my tears went away and I was flushed with anger.
I whispered into Feys ear, "I'll be right back baby stay right here."
I walked over to Zayn and the doctor, who's name was never mentioned to me. Zayn turned around ,
" Perrie go sit with Fey."
" No , I won't not Intel someone tells me what's going on. She's my baby girl , she needs her mum right now. She's so little and this is scary for her , she needs me she can't be alone."
The doctor began to speak , then was cut off by Zayn.
" Perrie please sit down , I'll tell you once were done talking."
" No she's my daughter to , i carried her around 10 months. I birthed her she's my daughter to. So one of you better tell me, what the hell is going on."
I knew I would regret this , I knew as soon as he was done speaking I would wish I never left my seat. I watched his lips move , his words made me feel numb. I stared at the wall behind him. I  stared and in hopes, of being able to process what he had said. At that moment for the first time in a long time , I had no idea what I was going to say. Once the doctor left Zayn pulled me into his chest. I wanted to speak but I didn't know what to say. It felt like my whole body, forgot how to function at that moment. I looked over his shoulder and to see Fey. She looked so confused , she was staring at Zayn and I. I wanted to go over and tell her how everything's fine. Except if I told her that , I'd be lying right to her face. Zayns hand rubbed up,and down my back. I listened to the sound his skin made, as it rubbed against my sweater. He whispered into my ear
"I'm scared."
" Me to," I responded

   Her last months were the hardest. Everyday we didn't know if it would be her last or not. We tried to make the best out of everyday. Even the nurses,said it was a miracle how long she survived. She never let her illness affect her. She smiled everyday , even if she was in the worst pain. She smiled even if she spent, the whole night crying because of the pain. As her last week came around , Zayn and I knew it was her last. We knew because,they let us take her home for a week. After three months of never leaving the hospital, they finally let us take her home. Before we left we got pulled aside.
" Skylers illness has increased in the last couple of days. She doesn't have much longer. We wanted her to go home and spend her last week or so with the people she loves. She always talks about her sister and her dogs. That's where we think it's best for her to be when she... "
I cut him off " stop you don't need to say it."

  In the movies the last week is played like its the best week. That's its full of happiness and achieving great things but it's not. The last week is the most painful week. You spend the whole week knowing someone you love won't make it to Monday. Every little thing they do makes you cry. For me I watched her run around the house, in her princess dress. laughing as Teddy chased her. Everything they do that you take for granted in suddenly the most important thing in the world. I herd her laugh everyday , something so common I made a big deal over. I would cry, scared I'd forget what her laugh sounded like. Or the sound of her feet as she ran around the house. Those are the little things that I wished id never toke for granted. I watched family and friends, come in and out of my home. I herd the same thing over one hundred times that week.
" I'm so sorry she doesn't deserve this."
People didn't really know how to talk to Zayn and I. I don't blame them what to would,someone even say in that situation. That could possibly make us feel better. The only thing we think about is , " what will we do next?" I think what makes everything ten times worse. In the back of your mind , you imagine a miracle a great big an impossible miracle. A miracle that only happens in movies, that she survives this. Then when it finally happens that Image is forever gone...
Her last day I would like to say she went peacefully. Her room wasn't crowed it was just Zayn and I. We refused to let Fey stay over night , because we didn't want her to be there. Her last night she slept in my arms. I listened and watched her heart monitor. Her last words ring through my mind everyday. Her last words weren't a long sentence full of deep meaning. They were words we heard every night.
" I love you mommy and daddy."

I listened to her last breathe as I prayed she wouldn't leave me. I watched my tears fall onto her face. As i shouted " no Skyler please baby wake up." As all the monitors went flat , I still refused to let go of her. I kept screaming for her to wake up but she didn't she never did. I looked around the room which was full of nurses and doctors. They tried to take her away from me. I listened to them announce her death, but I refused to believe them.
" she can't be gone she's to young she hasn't even gotten to live her life." I listened to a stupid  un meaningful
" I'm sorry for your loss."
As everyone left the room , I was sat holding Skyler in my arms. I held her against my chest, just as I did when she was born. I rocked her back and forth in my arms. I whispered into her ear as I couldn't let go of her. I looked around the empty room , Zayn was no longer in sight. I held her in my arms crying for over an hour. I held her Intel  she was taken away from me. I refused to look as they rolled her away. I stayed motionless on the bed , as tears continued to roll down my cheeks. My baby girl was gone.

Authors note : okay okay I will admit it's been a very long time 😁 I've re written this chapter and accidentally deleted tons and tons. My apologies for keeping you wonderful people waiting. Also I did get a little emotional while writing this 😁😁😁😁