Don't Stop | Michael Clifford

Chapter 72

Two months after

"You know what, I feel good," I say, genuinely meaning it for what felt like the first time in forever. Mrs. Siobhan studies me with her eyes, and I can tell that she's trying to figure out if I'm lying or meaning it. "I mean it."

"What makes you say that?" she asks, making me shrug.

"I mean, yeah I do miss him, but I'm really starting to really get back on track," I tell her. "The first month I was a mess, they even told me at work that I should take some time off. Probably because I was starting to lose a lot of weight, and with everything that the media thinks that Victoria Secret models are too skinny, they told me to take some time to myself. I obviously wouldn't really, but I eventually started working out instead. I'm in even better shape than I was when I was with Michael, hell I'm in better shape than I was before." Mrs. Siobhan nods, writing something down on her computer.

"Have you seen him since the breakup?"

"Not really, no," I tell her, fumbling with my hands slightly. I've run into him while hanging out with Maddie and all, but I haven't really talked to him. Mrs. Siobhan is now silent, trying to read my facial expression.

"Well, our time is up," she says, nodding a bit, mostly to herself I assume. I just nod, thanking her. I had started seeing her a bit after the breakup, because Maddie and Mia made me. I was just a wreck, to say it the least. It was nice to see a shrink a bit, I didn't come very often either, and I don't think I will come much more.

One of the hardest things about the breakup as well, was probably social media. I hadn't been on my instagram for a while, mostly because I couldn't make myself delete the photos of Michael, but I couldn't look at them either. I hope that someday him and I would be friends, but for now it was better to just stay apart. I mean, obviously he won't stop being in Luke's life, and I won't stop being in Maddie's which means that we'll eventually have to get along. Maybe not perfectly and it will be awkward at first, but still. Maddie meant that much to me, that I would be around my ex.

Ex. Ex-boyfriend. I never thought I was going to say that about Michael. But I also thought that he could live with not knowing what happened with my family, which he obviously couldn't. I just wish that he would've realized that sooner, so we wouldn't go almost half a year, thinking it wasn't something that was going to split us up. I'm honestly still pissed at him for that.

Meanwhile I was down touching rock bottom and got up again, Luke and Maddie had told the rest of the world about the pregnancy, the fans being really supportive. Maddie's mom and sister was too, but her dad did not like it. He didn't like her little daughter being pregnant without it being planned, or the fact that they hadn't even dated for a year, or it wasn't even sure Luke was going to be much around. Luke and Maddie ended up having to move, since her apartment was actually in his name. So they found a slightly bigger apartment closer to Central Park so they could go there with the baby.

Shortly after that, they told the world about it, after just telling the closest to them, like the rest of the family and close friends and such.

Now you can't go on social media without it being everywhere. A bit like when Louis Tomlinson had a kid. I had been out shopping for stuff for the nursery as well. They had decided that they didn't want to know the sex of the baby right away, only at the end of the pregnancy (in that way it was more of a surprise, but they still had time to buy some clothes)

Hormones was starting to get to her too. It started when she entered the second trimester, her being in the middle of it. She would be happy, but also complain. A lot. She would keep talking about how it was weird that people say that pregnant women glow, and then she would start talking about that it was just the sweat because she was almost constantly hot. It wasn't too bad, since she always talks anyways. But since she had been busy with Luke, and I was afraid to run into Michael, I had hung out at Mia's place more often (since I didn't like suddenly being so much alone). I would literally be a burden to her, so she had to tell me to leave a few times.