Pixies and wolves

CHAPTER 19: A SIMPLE I LOVE YOU

SEAN'S POV

Leena is such an awesome girl. Why can't I date her, why does she ignore me? Is she playing with my heart, is she in love with someone else?

I wish I knew her thoughts now. We dated before she jumped and I blame myself for her jumping. I'm a wolf and she was a normal girl but special somehow. I wish I knew what it was.

So I know we broke up, and I know she won't date me, but I still love her deeply, I want to marry her still. I know I was wrong to break up with her, when she said she finds someone else attractive and loves them. I know I was wrong to break up with her many times during our relationship.

Most often it was when we had an argument and I got really mad, I would break up with her, simply because I can't stand being angry and hate fights.

It's also due to my disorder, I want a relationship and I want love, but I also seek isolation and take the most negative pessimistic approach on life.
Then I regret all that was said.

I want her to know that I can see her throwing herself at other guys and that it hurts me deep down, I try and hide the hurt and hide the pain each time she does it. I want her to know that I love her still and would do anything for another chance at a relationship and that I would do anything for us to be together again, just so that I can give her a hug hello, and a simple "I love you" at night before bed.

I had a dream once, before I met her that she was the one to marry, then I met her and still had the dream, then we broke up and I still have the same dream, maybe now it's just a nightmare haunting my mind, but I still have the dream.

I long for her to notice my love radiating out towards her, I long for her to notice my desire to jump up, grab her and not let her go until she loves me back. I want her to know that I would try find a way to reverse time and go back and fix all of this.

All I wish is that she will love me again, and be my girlfriend again. All I wish is that she will notice me and acknowledge my existence, and see my love for her.

She loves another but he doesn't love her. Why can't she find it in her to forgive me and let me try again and prove my worth; prove the undying unquestionable, completely and utterly unquenchable, deep love I have for her.

Perhaps if I tell her that I love her and that I am here waiting to give her a hug and kiss hello, and a simple "I love you" at night, before she sleeps and let her know that I love her, maybe then she will realise that I am willing to change and that I want to date her again. It has been over a month since we broke up and I know deep down she hasn't forgotten her love for me, but denies herself the opportunity to love and feel love for me, because of what I did and said.

I wish Leena would accept me for me, I wish she would love me again. I would never hurt her this way again. I eventually found out that she jumped from her past and that she found out she was like us, a werewolf. A special werewolf, one meant to be with me, my mate, my life, my love.

If we could date again I would mate her and be hers forever.