The Fourth Roommate

Old Feelings

Cam very awkwardly cleared his throat and then let them inside. My sister started chattering, frantically trying to cover up the embarrassing moment that was following. Alex had his lip sucked in and he was avoiding all eye contact, staring up at the ceiling. I bit my lip, unable to keep my eyes off of him. Everyone was looking at me, looking at him.

And then, Ace, thank god for Ace, saved me. He grabbed my arm, and I was able to look at Ace instead and I let out an almost inaudible sigh of relief.

"Cam will give you some drinks. Just excuse Serena and I for a second," he informed them, before dragging me off to the bathroom and shutting the door behind us.

I fell against the bathtub, my heart constricted in my chest. I felt tears prickling behind my eyes and I didn't want to cry. I didn;'t want to give them that power over me, but how could I not? All I was remembering were all our good times and then the knife they had put in my back. I couldn't deal with it, I just couldn't.

Ace put his hands on my knees, his green eyes melting into mine. Tears were rolling down my cheeks but I was trying to hide them. For once, Ace didn't do his 'tough love' thing. Instead he grabbed my hand and squeezed it, a silent gesture of support which stopped the waterworks.

The bathroom door opened up and Zac and Cam piled in. They came to sit at either side of me and just looked at me, waiting to explain. They had full right to be angry or disappointed, but they weren't. It meant more than I could say.

"Alex is the boy who broke my heart," I whispered softly, "Alex was the guy who I was with till I was eighteen. My sister and him..."

I broke off and put my head in my hands.

***

It was the graduation party and everyone was over moon. Everyone was dancing with each other, bodies pushing against one another. The music was pounding, my heart matching it's every beat. My hips were swaying to the side, while people laughed and danced with me. I was so happy, so glad that Selena, Alex and I could finally get out of this town  We were going to go to university and everything was going to be great.

I grabbed onto my friends arm and asked her where Selena and Alex were. I wanted to spend most of the night with them. She awkwardly shrugged and I could she was holding back something. My heart suddenly constricted in my chest and I remembered the last three months. Recently they were hanging out a lot without me, and the weird way they had acted one time when I'd missed the movies and met them for dinner later. It couldn't... no, I refused to even think that something was going on between them.

They loved me. They wouldn't hurt me in that way.

Some guy whispered something into my friends ear, looking kind of angry. I wondered why he was mad at her. The friend finally seemed to give in and she grabbed my hand, and pointed at the little shed at the side.

I slipped off my heels and stepped into the dewy, soft grass. The night was warm, the stars and the little Christmas lights which were dotted around everywhere, casted dim light over the party scene. It was beautifully planned and yet all the happiness I felt earlier had disappeared. There were knots in my stomach and I had the sinking feeling that the shed was going to contain a sight I did not want to see.

I walked over to the shed, my heart slamming against my chest in an irregular fashion. My palms were sweating and my heels were almost slipping out of my grip. I explored the old wooden door of the shed with my fingertips, feeling the little dents and damages, trying to find the bravery to open the door. I pushed a little harder with my fingers and the door slowly creaked open.