Reason to Live and Die (ft. AlyDen)

Chapter 21

--Dennise's POV—

I sighed.

Saturday night and I'm here hanging out with myself, lying in the center of a concrete floored basketball court where I and Alyssa used to hang out. The night is dark but I chose to stay here facing and staring at the dark sky above me. Well, I'm still lucky for I can still see couple of stars. They're beautiful as always but not as beautiful as when I had Alyssa by my side every time we lie here and watch the stars and the moon.

Months have passed yet I haven't heard about her. I tried stalking and checking Aly's social networking accounts but I had nothing. The New Year has started but I felt like I'm still stuck into those times when Aly's presence made my everyday life.

Where is she? Does she even miss me? Because I swear to God, there's not a single day that I stopped thinking about her. Does she eat her breakfast every morning? Or is she still alive and breathing for Pete's sake?

I wiped the tears in my eyes. Damn. I'm crying again.

For months since Alyssa left, God I even lost count with the number of months, I have shoved and drowned myself into work. A lot of work, yes, with my clinic and my father's architectural firm, I know a bit about my father's company so I chose to help him.

Well, since that time I called my wedding off, everybody judged and hated me... my grandpa hated me the most. He was actually the one who gave the order to my father to arrange my marriage with LA when I was just in college. Even my own father seems to be cold to me since then.

My younger siblings and my mother were also confused about what really happened at first. LA and my siblings have grown close and it was a shock to them when they knew about what I did. My sister, Jus and my Mom understood me when I tried to explain everything to them and I was very grateful for that. About my brother, Mosh, well until now he still asks about LA.

LA tried to make our relationship work out but it was me who gave up. I don't know if I did the right thing or not. All I know is that I just want to be honest, with him, with my family, with everybody, and with myself. Even if their mocking gazes at me are the prices. Well, he still hasn't given up though. He still wants us to talk about it. He still asks me out for dates and stuffs but as for now, I've declined all of them.

It would have been better if Alyssa was by my side. But she's not. And the question is... does she feel the same way that I do towards her?

Again, I felt the tears in my eyes and wiped them. It's Saturday night, no work for tomorrow... so my head is a treasure chest for a mere thought... the thought of Alyssa. I need to shrug the thought of her out of my head or I'll go nuts.

I decided to call Fille.

.

.

"Fille?" I called.

-"Hello Den? What's up? Anything wrong? Uhm. Its Saturday night, wanna go somewhere?" Fille said.

"Uhm.. actually I'd prefer to stay at home and drink. Well? Can you come here? I'll tell you the address." I said.

-"Wait. You're not in your unit? Where are you?" she asked.

"Uhm. I'll tell you about it when you get here. I already bought some wine and pizza! Hahahahahahaha! I'll just send you the address. Malapit-lapit lang din naman." I said.

-"Ugh. Yea right, just send me the address. You and your random trips on Saturday nights. Ok! I'll be there. Bye." She said and hanged up.

So I sent her the address of Manang Feli's house.