Existential

Chapter 22

I flinch as the cold paste hits my sore ribs again. I'm back to holding my shirt up while Tyler has to put minty paste on my bruises to help the pain. I keep my lower lip caught between my teeth so I don't groan in pain when Tyler's hands just slightly brush against the purple and black skin. I had woken up this morning on the floor and hurried upstairs before my parents knew I was awake. I packed new clothes into a small bag since I didn't know how long I'd be gone and had snuck downstairs and out the front door. That's how I ended up at Tyler's house again with a bruised torso and damn near a black eye.
"Are you sure you won't want to press charges?" Tyler asks for the fiftieth time since he saw me this morning. Every time I had to refuse, where would I live? If my parents are both convicted I'd be put into the adoption center until I'm eighteen and god knows how long it'd be until I see my friends again. Tyler was very insistent I press charges for child abuse and I should take photos of my injuries before they fade but the thought makes me nauseous. I can't imagine sitting in a courtroom with my bruised body posted for everyone to see.
"Nope. I'll be out of the house soon enough," I reply like I have for the past hour. Tyler finishes dabbing paste onto my torso but grabs gauze from the cabinet. He wraps my torso and secures it comfortably before I drop my loose t-shirt again. His hand reaches up to my eye and lays his fingers gently on my swollen cheek. His eyes flick from the purple coloring to the ground and his fingers gently stroke the side of my face. It kind of bothers my nerves but the small affection makes up for the slight discomfort. I remember suddenly last time anyone had a black eye me and Tyler broke up or got in a fight or whatever I should call it and I immediately lean out of Tyler's touch. He looks back up at me and drops his hand.
"Want food?" Tyler offers and I nod. I hop off the counter but the impact of the ground on my body makes me hurt even more. He notices and immediately attempts to help me walk without putting too much pressure on my torso. After a few steps and a failed attempt to get through the doorway Tyler lets out a sigh. "I just can't believe this had to happen. I'm so sorry Alice," he suddenly says. His voice was very sincere and his brown eyes bore into mine and I press my lips to his cheek.
"It's okay," I mumble as I lean back. He smiles a little and suddenly moves so one arm is under my arms and the other goes behind my knees. Tyler picks me up bridal style which makes the pressure on my ribs disappear and I feel so much more relieved. He carries me out to the empty room and sets me on the long couch in the living room. The rest of the family had gone out for breakfast and the only reason Tyler was home is because he wanted to record. Of course that was until I showed up.
I let myself sink into the plush cushioning as Tyler disappears somewhere in the kitchen. I hear the clanging of pans until the familiar sound of the stove top turning on. I reach for the remote and turn on the TV. I scroll through the DVR before settling on old reruns of spongebob episodes. I get halfway through the show when Tyler returns with a full set up of breakfast. It's on one of those special trays for breakfast in bed and he sets the tray over my torso. I sit up so I can rest my back on the armrest to look at all my options. There's scrambled eggs, chocolate chip pancakes, black coffee, and a bowl of cut up fruit as well as utensils. A smile stretches across my face and I pull Tyler down to me so I can kiss him. I peck his lips quickly and flinch when the small movement pulls the skin under my eye taut. He leans back and looks disappointed so I apologize.
"It's okay Alice let yourself heal. We can actually kiss in a few days," Tyler says and sits at the end of the couch where my feet don't reach. He picks up his plate of food from the table and we both begin eating. I get through almost all my food except the eggs when I hear the front door open. The familiar laughs and voices of the people I could call my family booms through the house. I direct my attention back to the TV as they all separate. The only people who actually come into the kitchen is Kelly and Chris.
"Hey kids," Kelly greets and we both say good morning. Since my black eye is on the opposite side from the parents they both haven't seen it but they're bound to. I let out a sigh and set my tray on the table as the episode comes to an end.
"Ty hand me the blanket please," I request and he hands me the fluffy blanket. I pull it around me but I still don't feel comfy enough. It's either the couch is lumpy or I just want to cuddle as much as I can.
"Tyler," I whine and drag out the end of his name. He looks over at me with a smile on his face.
"Alice," he imitates me and I roll my eyes in response.
"Come cuddle me," I ask and after a few minutes of struggling and me complaining we are finally comfortable. Tyler keeps one arm on top of my waist but not under me because that hurts. His grip was practically nonexistent but his chest presses into my back. I play with his fingers on his hand that's draped over me and Ty keeps his face buried in my hair. We watch a few more episodes until the family begins to pile into the living room around noon.
Tyler was sleeping behind me and I had barely began to close my eyes when a sharp gasp caught my attention. Madison rushes over to lean down and inspect my face. The family knows about my parents but only Tyler and Zack have ever seen anything at all. My parents usually hit me where it's easily hidden by clothes but obviously it was different this time.
"Mom!" Madison calls out and Kelly rushes into the room. Tyler is awake now and he groans since waking up from his nap.
"What happened to your eye dear?"
"My dad," I state simply and her lips flatten into a straight line. She nods solemnly and rests her hands on her hips. Zack and Chris walk in and they both ask me the same question. Now they are all firing questions at me that I can't even understand let alone answer. Tyler moves his hand to grab onto mine under the blanket.
"Guys can you all chill for a second," I ask, my voice slightly louder than all of theirs. They stop speaking and they all look at me with concern.
"My parents came back last night as you all know and they were drunk. My dad was pissed I left the house and I told him to hit me so he went for my face first. I woke up and my whole body was sore and I packed some things and came here. Tyler took care of everything and no I'm not pressing charges."
A few naps later and a full dinner me and Tyler chill in the basement. He's gotten it kind of furnished within the last few days so he now has a couch that has a pull out bed and a small TV. I lie in the pull out bed among the blankets as the movie Fight Club plays. Tyler is on the other side of the room doing something on the computer. He is either researching or writing more songs, most likely the latter. As the scene where his apartment is blown up and he calls Brad Pitt at the pay phone Tyler finally gets off the chair in front of the computer. He sighs and runs a hand through his already messy hair. Tyler had also managed to discard his t-shirt within the last half an hour so I can admire his body without a shirt. I would totally make out with him right now but my dad's dirty work is keeping my mobility to a minimum. He climbs into the bed with me and buries himself under the piles of blankets. I move so I'm cuddled into his side and rest my head on his chest. Tyler gently wraps his arms around me and we continue watching the movie. Of course the movie had sexual scenes which made me feel extremely awkward since we haven't done it and the closest we got was me in my bra and pajama bottoms. Eventually the movie reaches the end where Marla and the narrator are standing on the top level watching building around them being blown up. For whatever reason I always cry at this part so of course I have tears ok my face and Tyler stares at me. The credits begin rolling and I hurriedly brush tears off my face as gently as I can.
"I'm gonna go turn off the lights," he mumbles and climbs out of the bed. Tyler turns off any lights and grabs the remote for the TV. Tyler gets back in besides me and I move so I can rest my head on his chest. He puts on some random show and turns the volume down.
"Y'know Alice? When was the last time I took you out on a real date?"
"I don't even know."
"Hm, I'll have to take you out sometime soon. You're too pretty to be sitting around in a house with me all the time," Tyler smiles and I nod as best I can. Although the 'pretty' part is something I don't agree with.
My hair was dead from dyeing it. My eyes have dark circles and now this fucking black bruising. I could definitely be skinnier. My boobs and butt really aren't that big. My nose doesn't have that curve in the bridge. My hands are too skinny. My feet are too small. And my thighs are fucking huge. I am far from pretty.
Tyler moves so he's closer to me and I close my eyes. My ribs ache and my cheek throbs but I am comfortable with him. Tyler begins breathing heavily and I assume he's already asleep. I feel like we sleep more than we talk.// GUYS. IM BACK. I'm getting better at uploading at a faster time rather than always waiting until it's over 2k words. So I'll settle for 1800 and chill out. I have a C in math now so I'm v proud and I get to retake my chem test. Anyways comment do whatever I want to get to know you guys better. So what's your name, age, favorite band, and what's the best concert you've been to and if you haven't been to a show what band do you want to see live ?
Stay alive
Kirsty