doing it wrong [completed]

9. Night Out

8:23 P

Isang linggo matapos mangyari ang lahat. Isang linggo mula nang bumangon muli si Nolan sa kama. At isang linggo matapos mamatay ng mommy niya. Infact kakalibing lang sakanya kanina. At nakiusap si Mr.Rosslord na dito muna sa bahay matulog si Nolan. I guess that's fine with me.

Tinanong ko siya 'non kung ano ba talagang nangyari sakanya. Ang sabi niya nung gabing yon, monthsary nila ni Emilia tapos pumunta siya sakanila. Only to see Emilia with another guy. Worst? She broke up with him. Saying na he's no good for her. That was why Nolan was depressed that time and it lead to that accident. Ang sarap niyang patayin. Kaya pala umalis na siya. Buti naman.

Eto kami ngayon nanunuod ng movie. I would like to call it 'Boys Night Out' pero kasama namin ngayon si martina plus we're inside our house not 'outside' so, nevermind. I was wondering why the whole time Nolan was okay. I mean okay. His mom just died pero ni umiyak or nagwala pagkatapos niyang malaman yon hindi. I never knew why. Siguro napaka touchy na nung subject na 'yon pag tinanong ko pa. Plus, okey na siya eh. Babanatan ko pa nang mabibigat na tanong. Baka magbago pa mood niya.

Nasa kala-gitnaan na ng movie nang magpaalam si Nolan para kumuha ng ilang gamit niya sakanila kaya naiwan kaming dalawa ni Martina. Napansin ko lang. Masyado na siyang napapadalas dito. It's like she's already one of the boys. Well, siguro nga. Wala namang masama don e.

"Declan?" Biglang tanong ni Martina. Agad naman akong napalingon.

"Um. Wala. " sagot niya. Hell?

"Ano nga?" Sabi ko.

"Look. I've been meaning to tell you this." Pagsisimula niya.

Is this the part where she'll confess she likes me?
Ang pinapanuod pa naman namin is 'Friends With Benefits' anak ng tipaklong at kaming dalawa nalang ni martina ang nasa harap ng screen. Asan ka na ba Nolan? Hindi ako komportable sa sitwasyon na to.

"I love you." Pagpatuloy niya. What the fuck? Seriously?

"Well. I love you too, man. Let's get married c'mon." Pagsagot kong sarcastically. Alam kong nagbibiro lang siya. Hindi. Re-phrase. Kailangan nagbibiro lang siya. Di siya pwede mahulog saakin.

"No. I love you. Like, i love you that i always want to be with you. Like i want you to give up that game. Like i want you to be my boyfriend. That kind of love. " sagot niya. Shit. This is not happening.

"I have loved you since the day i saw you inside Nolan's car. I have loved you because you were normal. Not typical asshole guys around every corner of Montreal. Iba ka sakanila. I guess i never realized that until now." Dagdag niya pa. What should i fucking say? I'm not good at this. Infact this is the first time this happened to me.

"Look. Martina. Don't get me wrong. I mean. Maganda ka. Sexy. Mabait. Every guy will see you will fall for you. Hindi ako yon. I am your friend. Kaibigan kita. Magkaibigan tayo. I'm sorry but i can't see that thing coming. Sabi mo i was different. Well i am not. Tignan mo ako. I'm almost exactly an asshole. Isa na ako sakanila ngayon. I am not good for you. I am not that normal anymore. No one noticed that Declan before. But somehow you do. And it's too late for that." Sabi ko naman sakanya.  She just got friendzoned. Pero, okay. I kind of like her too, pero that kind of i-wanna-have-sex-with-you like. Kaya pinipigilan ko lang sarili ko sakanya e. Kasi kaibigan ko siya. Ayokong masaktan siya. You know girls. Kapag nagpakita ka sakanila ng motibo o kahit na anong mabuti milyon na kahulugan non sakanila. They even fall for some simple things a guy can do to them. Tapos ano? Mag-eexpect na sila niyan tapos kapag naman sinabi mong gusto mo sila aakalain nilang love na yon. At forever na daw yon. Magkaibang magkaiba ang like sa love. Magkaiba talaga girls.