IM MRS PADILLA -- SHE'S MY WIFE [KathNiel]

SMW 21

Miserable

She's my wife

--

DJ's POV

Let's break up.

Three words. Tatlong salita na nagpa-guho muli sa mundo ko. Tatlong salita na hindi ko inaasahang maririnig muli sakanya. Hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko.. kung susundan ko ba siya at luluhod ulit sa harapan niya at magmamaka-awa na wag niya na akong iwan. Am I not enough? I know I don't deserve her love but am I not allowed to be selfish just this once? Kahit ngayon lang hindi ba pwedeng angkinin ko nalang siya? Hindi ba pwede sakin na lang siya habang-buhay?

she left me. she left me without any explanations. Ni hindi ko alam kung bakit niya ako iniwan. Masyado ko na ba siyang nasaktan? Sad thing is, hindi lang naman siya yung nasasaktan sa mga nangyayare samin! Hindi lang naman siya yung umiiyak dito! Hindi lang siya.

Ako din naman eh. Im trying to be strong. Im trying because of her. Because I love her so damn much.

"Kuya.. hindi ka ba papasok? Uulan na oh. Kanina ka pa dito sa labas ng bahay. Maabutan ka pa ni Mama, baka mapagalitan ka pa nun." Narinig kong sabi sakin ni JC. Umiling nalang ako sakanya.

"Kuya, andito lang kami para sayo.. Mahal ka ni Ate Kath, kaya tiwala lang." I laughed bitterly. Nung iniwan ako ni Kath, kanina.. I started doubting her love for me.. Baka kasi hindi sapat yung pagmamahal niya sakin.. That's why she left me.

Maybe that's the real reason why she left me. Because she doesn't really love me like what I thought. She chose to leave me.

Should I just forget everything? Antanga ko. Siya makakalimutan ko? Like wth, I can forget everything.. But I can never forget every single detail about her.

I want to wish a brand new life.. Even without her.

But my heart is wishing for another thing..

"Kuya please. Pumasok na muna tayo. Utang na loob, kahit ngayon lang isipin mo naman yung sarili mo! Hindi na maganda yang puro si ate Kath nalang ang nasa isip mo! Punyeta kuya, tao ka din. Hindi lang si Ate Kath ang tao dito oh. Isipin mo din nararamdaman naming nasa paligid mo. You know what. Mas better na siguro na magkahiwalay kayo. Because the love you have, it's destroying you! Are you even aware of it? Get a grip." Napatulala nalang ako sa sinabi ni JC sakin. I watched him while he turned his back on me.

I don't know. Walang pumapasok sa utak ko ngayon. All I know is i'm in deep pain. I don't even know how to cure this pain.

Pumasok ako sa kotse ko at nagdrive. Nakita ko sa salamin ang reflection ko. I smirked, I'm all wrecked up.

After hours of driving, nandito na ko..

Misibis bay.

The beach, filled with many memories. This is where I surprised her.. this is also where my bestfriend died. I smirked, how can this beautiful place have many sad memories with me.

I sat near the shore while looking at the sea. Kung pwedeng magpakamatay na lang ako. This pain is killing me. Hindi ko alam kung saan ba ako nagkulang.. kung ano bang malaking kasalanan ang nagawa ko dati kaya pinaparusahan ako ng ganito. Putangina, sobrang sakit na. Tama si JC, tao din ako.. hindi porket hindi ako umiiyak lagi, hindi na ko nasasaktan. Kung alam lang nila! I lived for years trying to be strong for my family... for my wife.

Si Suxein, hindi ko alam kung anong katangahan ang dumapo sakin na hindi ko nakilala ang sarili kong kapatid. Maybe because she's far from what I remember. Anlaki na ng pinagbago niya. Even her physical appearance, nagmature yung mukha niya.. and the dark make-up she's using while being 'Shi Ramirez', it's pretty far from her personality that I know. I remembered how I used to fetch her in her school. Yung ako yung pinaka-paborito niyang kuya.. yung sa pamilya lang namin umiikot ang mundo niya. Her innocence before.. mahal na mahal ko ang kapatid ko. She might have done bad things. Pero kapatid ko padin siya. I can't just stay mad at her forever. Masakit man, pero mahal ko talaga si suxein.. I love her so much that I could forgive her despite of what she have done.

Si Kath, damn.. God knows how I love her. Mahal na mahal ko siya jusko. I even got mad to my own sister because of that love.. I know my love is getting too much. I don't even know if its still good for me. Sobrang mahal ko siya... Pero parang sobra na. Maybe I should try to ease the pain I have, not just continue loving her especially when I don't even know if i'm loving a girl who still have attention to me..

"Deej, are you okay?"