IM MRS PADILLA -- SHE'S MY WIFE [KathNiel]

SMW 30

smw 30, i (part i)

this would have another part (also tge reason y this is pretty short) .. thx for waiting 💙 and epilogue is just around the corner. I'm still thinking kung anong balak ko after this book ends.

Daniel’s POV

I shrugged, hindi ko na alam gagawin ko. It’s been an hour simula nung ma-lock kami dito. Isang oras na din na feeling ko nalulunod na ko sa mga iniisip ko. Ang hirap, gulung-gulo na talaga ko.

When I saw her crying, when I saw her breaking down infront of me.. alam ko.. I knew that I’m still in trouble.

Gusto ko siyang yakapin and tell her it’s fine.. na magiging maayos din ang lahat sooner or later. Pero hindi ko magawa.. hindi ko alam kung bakit. Part of me was scared na baka it’s just a play para masaktan ako, part of me was to preoccupied to even move. Yung tipong you want to do something but you can’t and you don’t even know why.

We entered this marriage by force, but we’re also about to end it in a wrong way.

Pero ganon naman diba lagi? Pag-nagsimula ng hindi maganda, magtatapos din ng ganon. That’s how life works. Parang pag nakuha mo ang isang bagay ng mabilis, mabilis din tong mawawa.. sa ayaw at sa gusto mo.

Napalingon naman ako ng narinig kong may kumatok sa pinto. She’s here, muntik ko nang makalimutan..

“DJ, I know you’re probably mad.. no, alam kong galit ka sakin.. I want you to hear me out.. DJ, natakot lang ako.. natakot ako na baka sa sobrang dami na nating napagdaanan magsawa ka na. Natatakot ako kasi my world turned upside down at hindi ko alam kung gusto mo ba o kakayanin mong samahan ako dun! Wala nang magandang nangyayare sakin.. ayoko nang madamay ka pa. I doubted you because I also doubted myself.. kung worth it pa ba ako para sayo..”

“Hindi ko alam kung ano pa bang meron ako to make you stay..”

“I don’t why I’m saying all of these pero, I’ll stop.. I’m so sorry for hurting you. Ang tanga tanga ko, ang daming babae na gugustuhin ang isang tulad mo, but im too stupid because I only do nothing but hurt you. Don’t worry, this would be the last.”

Pero ikaw yung gusto ko.

“All these games would stop.. ako na din bahala sa parents natin.. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I just want to say, na mahal kita. Mahal na mahal padin kita, because I never stopped.”

I can still her sobs behind the door.. narinig ko na din ang footsteps niya fading away..

She still loves me..

Gusto kong buksan yung pinto and hug her.. tell her to stay pero alam kong it’s not the right thing to do. We’re both too filled up with our thoughts. Kailangan namin ng space..

Gusto kong buksan yung pinto and hug her.. tell her to stay pero alam kong it’s not the right thing to do. Everything’s messed up.

That also includes my heart.

Nagulat naman ako ng narinig ko yung ringtone ko, hinanap ko kung saan yun nangagaling.. then nakita ko soya sa ilalim ng damit ko sa cabinet.

Mom calling..

I sighed at sinagot ko yung tawag,

“Are you really tired of these? Did we cross your limits, anak? Masama ba na gusto lang namin ayusin ang relasyon nyo because we all know na mahal nyo padin ang isa’t isa?” Napabuntong hininga nalang ako. Here we go again..

“No Ma, it’s not exactly that. Tsaka you all know din kung anong pinagdaan na namin, nasaksihan nyo everything. Hindi porket mahal namin ang isa’t isa sapat na yun for a marriage. Ma, love is not enough for this. Magkakasakitan lang kami, and I don’t want that.”

I know I still love her. Alam ko yun. Kahit gusto ko si Julia, we both knew na hindi siya ang tinitibok ng puso ko. But, I don’t know anymore.. kung kaya pa ba ng love namin to stay for this marriage. Marriage is no joke. Ang hirap sabihin na okay, we both love each other let’s just continue this. Kasi Love isn’t everything.. face the truth. Hindi lahat tungkol sa love. We only have love and nothing more. So paano namin icocontinue kung ganito kami. Walang trust, loyalty, etc. Parang bahay lang yan, Love is floor/land.. yung loyalty ang walls and trust is the roof.. and when storm comes kung wala yung walls and roof, we’ll just end up hurting.

“So, It’s already a no? Wala na talaga as in zero chance?”

“Not exactly a no, pero ma.. I already thought about it.. Okay, we both love each other..  But I need you to fill up those divorce papers, and now for real.”

“WHAT? You started with you both love each other tapos bigla mong isisingit yung divorce?  Ano ba talaga DJ?!”

“Just trust me on this, this way we won’t end up hurting each other.”

And I ended the call. Maybe eto yung tamang gawin.. it’s better this way. Atleast hindi kami magkakasakitan, and not just that..

No more ties to chain us up, we could finally live.