I try not to freak out.
I know I do sometimes.
But I'm in a lot of pain.
My heart is aching and cold and all I want to do is scream and I'm sorry I will freak out sometimes. I'm sorry I will loose my mind. I'm sorry I won't always be a nice person. I'm trying to be okay after all the shit I've been through. The last week has been hell. Try loosing someone you love, and then loosing them again. And then again to something else. And then again to another thing. Because that's how it feels.
1. We broke up.
2. You yelled at me and hung up the phone.
3. You said sorry, and then ignored my texts.
And again and again I loose you.
And it hurts more and more each time and it's not getting better.
I try to be strong.
I know I'm not at all.
But you expect me to be.
All I can do is try and trust me I'm trying but all I'm doing is slipping further and further back. I'm trying to be strong but it's not under my control anymore. I can dangle, holding on to this branch for days. But the branch can only hold so much, and eventually, no matter how strong I was, it will break. And I will die.
I'm trying, though.
