I miss you, a lot. Everyday I wake up and I think about that one morning I got to wake up next to you. I think about being wrapped up in your arms and not wanting to move. I think about your hands tightly holding onto me as you slept. I think about sneaking out of the bed to get ready. I think about the feeling of your heartbeat leaving my chest. I think about you, and how much I miss you. I still know I would do anything to hold your hand and kiss your lips. I still know that I would give the world to be in your arms again. I know that if the world were to end I'd run to you and kiss you again. I want to go back to the days when I didn't need to hug you to feel safe. I want to pause time in the moment when I was away from you but I could still breathe and my heart still cared to beat. Because I know I can't have you, but I want to be okay again. I have the world now and all it has to offer and still I'm sitting here thinking about you. You weren't perfect, we weren't perfect. We were real. And now all I can think about is the fantasy I believed for you and me. We were going to grow old and live together with puppies and cats and be happy. Everything is a fantasy I used to believe. The only real thing there is seems to be the pain in my heart. I still need you. And I remember 5 months ago you left me just the same and my eyes were cold and my cheeks were wet. But you came back. You put the light back in my eyes and the color in my cheeks. The fantasy was real again. But now I'm here again and I've been without you for more than a month. This pain is real and I know you're not coming back. I miss you. I miss everything about you. I'm sorry it didn't work out, I miss you.
I love you.
