Darling I've been falling since I kissed your lips but the difference between now and then is that I used to be falling for you and now I'm falling further and further from you. Every morning I wake up and I smile knowing you're alive but then I remember you're not mine and I'm not yours and when I pick up my phone there won't be a good morning text with your name on it begging me to answer. And I know you're fine without talking to me but for me the world is pointless without you. It's been too long for me to remember and too short for me to forget. Every memory stays in my mind and all I want, all I fucking want is to smile because of them again. Nothing more than simplicity is in every memory we shared in each others arms. And maybe my hearts getting repetitive but maybe that's what happens when you scratch your harsh words and ignorance against the CD that plays the songs we listened to at 2 am when neither of us could, nor wanted to, fall asleep. Your arms were warm and I felt your heart beat on mine and I never wanted to leave. But now I've learned that even murderers have heartbeats. Even the people who kill their children and laugh at their dying mothers. We all have heartbeats and they all sound the same. The only thing special about yours was that I thought it beat for me. But now I've learned that your words meant nothing and your heart only beat when you held me because if it didn't you'd die with me thinking the last beat in your heart was for me. And it's as simple as that.
