The Missing hope

Chapter Twelve. You Don't Even Deserve It.

The next morning, Janasvi woke up to the smell of pancakes. Rikhil had woken up way before her and was almost done preparing breakfast.

"Good morning Princess," Rikhil called from the kitchen.

"Morning, why didn't you wake me up?"

I don't know how I slept in for this long. Its 1pm.

"You'd had a bad night so I thought you'd need the extra sleep, even if it meant skipping classes."

"I don't think missing classes is a good idea. TADC is not very far and there is a lot of competition in the field," Janasvi shook her head disapprovingly.

"You're right. Well if you wanna have hot pancakes, brush quickly," he laughed.

"Of course," Janasvi had a quick brush and returned only to see that Rikhil had already set the table and was waiting for her.

They ate in a comforting silence.

The entire day passed without mention of anything that had happened the previous or the night before. In the evening Janasvi made a run to the supermarket to shop for groceries. When she returned Rikhil had already prepared dinner. A sweet delicious smell wafted in the room, lifting her spirits as she entered the apartment. He'd prepared lasagna and potato bake.

Janasvi was baffled by how good a cook he was. She literally licked the bits off her fingers when she was done.

I'm telling you, if we do get married, I ain't even gonna enter the kitchen. He can cook and I can earn. Perfectly fine with me.

Once Janasvi was done, she carried her and Rikhil's dirty dishes to the sink. Since Rikhil cooked, it was her turn on the dishes. It goes without saying. She began washing the dishes while Rikhil cleared the table and cleaned the stove. He brought the dishes over and placed them next to the sink, within Janasvi's reach.

Rikhil caught Janasvi by surprise when his hands circled her waist.

As a reaction she immediately turned and he kissed her on the lips. As stunned as she was, She returned the kiss with the same passion. It didn't last very long but it was long enough. He moved his lips from Janavi's lips to her forehead and placed a kiss there. He hugged her tight and she lay her head against his chest, careful not to let the soap on her hands get on his shirt. He stroked her hair, then moved back a little so he could see her face. He lifted her chin up with two fingers and guided a couple of stray strands to the back of her ear. He rested his hand on her cheek and held eye contact for a very long time. Then he let their foreheads meet as he let out a sigh.

"I.. I can't even stay angry at you for too long but I can't stand the fact that you've been on anti depressants all this while and I've had no clue about it until a day ago. We're even engaged now, unofficially though," Rikhil held up her hand, rubbing the soap off the ring with his fingers. "I thought we were over keeping secrets from each other." His tone was gentle, caressing even exasperated, almost.

"Rikhil..." She placed her hand on his chest, right above where his heart supposedly is. "Rikhil... I've lived on these anti depressants for half my life. They're a part of my life now. And if someone were to accept me in their life, they would have to accept my anti depressants with me. I've never told anyone because anti depressants aren't anything to be proud of. And to top it off, these anti depressants are very strong. I've been on them for too long to let go, but I didn't know how to break it to you. Only Jisha, Jiya, Bhai and Samraat Bhai know. I was scared. Really scared. I didn't wanna lose you at all. I feared even the slightest bit of rejection. I guess I just love you too much." Janasvi was at the verge of tears. She buried her head back into his chest without saying another because she was scared that she would probably break if she'd go on. For a while neither of them said anything. He just held her in his arms and stroked her hair. That was all she wanted him to do, just hold her in his arms.