Sanity is Just a State of Mind (18+_A Jeff the Killer fan fiction)

Chapter 15: Strong Emotions

Jessie's Point of View

Monday has finally rolled around. As I begin to get ready for work, I think back to the fucked-up week I just had. First, the Dark Carnival and that scary ass clown. The fight between Jeff and Jack was brutal. Even though Jeff won, and we were able to escape, Jack still ended up poisoning me. Jeff had told me how bad it really was and that he wasn't sure I would make it. But with his constant care I was able to pull through, I owe him that much, at least. And then, at some point while I was sick, Jeff became injured again and nearly destroyed the living room. It still pisses me off that he won't tell me anything. Then, Buck shows up on my doorstep. It took everything I had to keep Jeff from killing him. And, on top of everything else, I tried to tell Jeff that I loved him. 'What the hell was I thinking?!' Luckily, he stopped me making it clear that he has no feelings for me. I'm still really confused about my own feeling, and just can't understand why I would even feel that way about someone like him. And finally, the last few days Jeff and I have been having sex quite a bit. And for some reason, I just can' resist him. Although, I would rather he take me in bed than him taking someone's life.

Lost in thought as I'm getting dressed, I look in the mirror and notice several dark red marks all over my neck and chest. I do the best I can to cover the marks on my neck with makeup. But this only makes the marks look like dark splotches on my skin. Even though it's not that cold outside, I pull a turtle neck shirt on. The turtle neck covers most of the marks but there are still a few peeking up over the top. 'Damn it!' I decide to make two braids instead of one to fall over my shoulders. 'I never wear my hair this way, Buck's going to know somethings up for sure. Oh well, it can't be helped.'

As Jeff and I eat breakfast, he looks at me and smirks. "Pfff...What's up with your hair?"

I pull one of my braids off to the side to reveal the marks on my neck. "What do you think?"

He sits there and laughs at me. "I think you're an idiot. You really think that's going to hide anything? Just own up to it. Tell 'em you were horny and had sex." He starts laughing again.

"Shut up, Jeff! This is all your fault, you know?!" I get up, slamming the chair into the table.

He laughs so hard he doubles over in his chair.

"Ugh!" I storm off with him still snickering and go finish getting ready for work.

I walk through the living room, grab my things off the breakfast bar and head out the door without uttering a word. Jeff follows after me and nudges me in the shoulder. "Oh, come on Jessie, don't be like that. You weren't complaining when it was happening." He grins down at me.

"Gah! You're such an asshole!" I get in the jeep and start it up. I don't say anything to him the whole time I'm driving.

I stop in front of the old Fletcher place and he jumps out. "Later..." I just give him a dirty look. He chuckles as he walks away.

I then, turn into Rogers Ranch and park the jeep. The thought of seeing Buck makes my stomach turn. I begrudgingly exit the jeep and make my way to the gate.

Putting on my best smile I greet Mr. Rogers. "Good morning, Mr. Rogers."

"Oh, good morning, Jessie. How are you feeling?" Mr. Rogers greets me with a bright smile. "We missed you around here."

"I'm sorry to have caused you worry. But I'm feeling much better now." I give Mr. Rogers a reassuring smile.

"I'm glad to hear it. By the way, your hair looks really cute today."

"Oh, thank you." I look down at my feet, feeling embarrassed from what I'm trying to hide.

After all the pleasantries are out of the way and we discuss the day's schedule, I go straight to work. I trade out my boots and start feeding the animals. I haven't seen Buck yet. I'm dreading the time when that happens. I finish feeding all the animals, then clean and store all the containers back in the barn. Feeling melancholy, I start to walk toward the stables with my head down, not paying attention to my surrounding.