Ranterism

Babies & Pregnancy

When you were all kids, where did you think babies came from?
At first I thought that when someone wants a child, an angel comes down to earth and blows up the ladies belly.

I had a lot of other theories also so don't judge me because I was just a kid who was pretty much misguided.

When I used to watch bollywood movies, the hero and heroine would be dancing around; two flowers would be shaking before their faces then pop!A baby is born.

Whenever I saw people with flowers I automatically used to assume that a baby was on the way.
I was in a supermarket once and I saw a dude with a bunch of flowers in his hands so I went and congratulated the man saying "Hey, Oh wow! A baby is on the way and I hope you would be a great father" then I left without waiting for his reply xD

Thank god I didn't shake that man's hand because I used to have a habit of shaking everyone's hand when I was small.

I was pretty shy to ask my mom about these things so I went and asked my aunt where babies really come from while making a big gooey eye face. She looked left and right then patted my head while softly whispering to my ears "babies come from kissing and hugging" when she said this line I saw her kids i.e my cousin brother and sister hugging so I screamed 'STOP! YOU WILL BECOME PREGNANT'
My cousin scowled at his mom while she gave him a sheepish look but no one corrected my false Knowledge. LOL

I actually thought that only a woman can give birth to a girl child and only a man can give birth to a boy. Screw me and my innocence lol.

Who knew that sex didn't mean only about genders but was rather an activity? I DIDN'T KNOW AND IT WAS PAINFUL TO KNOW THIS HORRIFYING TRUTH.

LIKE WHY SHOULD TWO HUMANS PEE-PEEs COLLIDE THEIR LIQUID TIDES TO MAKE A BABY OR JUST FOR FUN/PLEASURE. WHAT IF YOU SUDDENLY PEE WHILE HIS BANANA ENTERS YOUR DOUGHNUT?WHAT IF THE GOLDEN BANANA GETS  STUCK IN YOUR HOLE? WHAT IF...
Ok I'll stop. I'm 20 and I behave like a 12 year old xD Sheesh! Well tbh I just wrote that because it was funny in my head xD

Btw! Who knew that 69 was not just a number? I mean when I started growing up and learnt all these things I felt that everything I learnt in my life was all just a lie.

Oh I just remembered something xD just a few weeks ago I met this lady who used to reside in my apartment but then vacated after she go married. I saw her tummy was all bulged while she also gained a few kilos over the other parts of her body. While standing from my aisle I winked at her and gestured at her tummy and that woman blushed so I automatically assumed she is preggo. I dropped my shopping cart then bought a few baby supplies (baby soap, lotion,powder and milk powder) while I was billing she came next to me in the line and asked me why am I purchasing these baby products.

I just grinned at her while telling that it's a gift for her soon to be born child then she gave me a weird look.
"I'm not pregnant" she replied while the woman at the counter billed everything in my cart.

Turns out she mistook my wink as "Oh have you become a fatty patty for which she nodded as yes" -.- akaoajwbwbsyozjav

I used the baby products for a month Lmao. These products have such a nice aroma but my skin didn't get soft like a baby's bottom. WHY *CRIES*
Milk powder is so damn tasty! I can just eat the packet and be content with it.

Anywhale... I know that most of you are female readers (regardless of your age) have you ever thought how it would feel to be pregnant? Not by what you see in movies/TV shows but how do you think It might be?

YOU as the main female lead in this story :-
One day you wake up puking your guts out then you think you might be pregnant. You don't have the guts to go and get the news confirmed through a doctor so you pee on a tiny stick that might not be accurate.

There's another life growing inside of you; a gift called life giving life to another. You know you are not alone and there's someone inside of you listening to you, going along with you, feeling you, understanding you. You feel different; you feel new and whole, almost complete.

For 9 months you will be carrying a baby inside of you. You have mood swings and cravings...

Plot twist :- You bleed then you realise that it's the time of your month when aunt flow decides to visit you again.
If you never did the hanky panky how the hell did you get pregnant? If you puke and get mood swings or weird cravings that doesn't mean you are preggo unless you went to the sperm bank and got some random persons sperm to fuse with your eggs...

I'm sorry if I haven't replied to your messages or comments x(
I'm literally standing on a stone bench of the terrace to get a signal so that I could open wattpad and post this xD
There's water till my knees outside he building where I reside :/ I hope chennai recovers from the disaster soon _/\_ where ever you are, I hope you are all safe and sound.
Hopefully the signal towers get stronger so that I can come online soon and start reading,voting,commenting on your works ♡
Until then be patient my baby potatoes.
Take care and stay safe :)