Capturing Ella

Chapter 42 - Ella

No. This can't be happening, this can't be real! I thought to myself in my semi-conscious state. I didn't want to reveal that I was awake in case those evil, primitive nurses were around prying for some more information to take from me. I didn't want this to be happening. I always read it in books, or on social media when I was fourteen or girls gossiping in school, but I never thought it could happen to me. Joe will be so annoyed when he finds out. He might just leave me in the hospital, survive by himself for the next few weeks until the threat blows over and continue on his normal life whilst I have to trudge through God knows what now. I was confident that, when I wake up, he would be gone and I would just have the fading trail of him to remember. I could still see him clearly, the bad boy looks but his innate kindness. His light brown hair that just looked wonderful and roused no matter how much effort went into it. His shining green and blue eyes which changed based on emotion or what he was wearing. The muscles which the training for Maui had given him but the ever so gentle nature he had also inhabited. I didn't want him to leave, but my recklessness near enough guaranteed it.

I was still in the same hospital bed that I was before when the nicely pruned flower of a nurse came in and drew litres and litres of blood from my body, made me wee in several cups and other God awful examinations before one test popped up positive. I wouldn't mind if that test would have been for the flu.

I'm so sorry, Joe. I thought again for what felt like the seventh million time since I was taken away from him. This is why I kept the whole Soulfinder thing a massive secret. I knew I would ruin him, and this was one certain way to do it. In a sudden rash of impulsiveness I started to kick out, attempting to pull all the tubes that were pumping chemicals into my body. They could be feeding me poison and I wouldn't know at the moment. I continued to kick out, legs kicking off the thing restaining my legs and my arms trying to pull out the tubes and the weird things stuck to my chest.

'Ella, Ella, calm down. You're okay.' I heard Joe say and I snapped open my eyes, surprised to see he was still sitting beside me. There was a plastic chair next to the left side of my bed, but he had got out of it to hold my arms and false me to stop pulling everything out of myself. The heart rate monitor was flat lining, and Joe picked up the finger clip, massaging my wrist to get my palm to flatten out before clipping it back on before pulling the blanket that was over my ribcage back down again where I kicked half of it off in my panic.

'Why are you still here? Just go,' I told him.

'Why would I go? I'm not leaving you,' He said defensively

'Didn't the nurse tell you what was wrong with me?' I snapped back. 'Just leave,' I whispered in tears, rolling back onto my right side. I heard Joe sigh behind me but after that it was silence for over a minute as I silent cried. I then heard footsteps going towards the door, but rather than leaving Joe just came around the other side of the bed. He squatted down beside the side of the bed, taking one of my hand that had a tube in and covering it entirely with his warm hands. He looked me dead in the eye, the soft blue brimming with concern but something else.

'I know, Ella, they told me.' He gently whispered and I flinched.

'This is what I meant by I'd ruin you.' I mumbled, trying to roll back over but Joe put his hand on my back. I felt completely drained and tired by the whole experience and I just didn't have the energy to resist.

'How will this ruin me, hun?'

'It just will.' I murmured. 'You can just leave, I won't hate you. I don't blame you.'

'Ella, seriously, I'm not leaving you so just stop saying that. We can work this out, it's nothing too bad. We just need to get through this trip then when we're back in Berkshire we can sort it all out and talk everything through. It's not the end of the world –'