Capturing Ella

(Releasing Joe) Chapter 61 - Ella

'Do you want to know what's weird?' Xav asked as we both walked into the kitchen to make the round of beverages. Despite the fact Joe and I were extremely jetlagged, and it was ten in the evening (meaning it was stupid hours of the morning in England), Karla decided coffee was an extremely good move.

Joe and I eventually managed to get the courage to go downstairs to see Xav and Crystal, but only after the baby had stopped kicking. It was a completely weird thing but it was entirely magical at the same time. I then had to lie around for a few minutes because the reality had kicked in. We were actually going to have a baby. Like a real life, living baby. And she would be ours forever. We would be parents forever. We had only just turned twenty one and we would have a baby. I knew some of my friends from school would have a massive go at me, not to even mention the talk from Tina and Zoe I would end up having but that wouldn't overly matter. Joe and I were going to be parents and we would have to do the whole things just the two of us. I knew full well Joe was absolutely brilliant with children and would be fine raising our daughter alone – it was me who was the real worry. I had little to no practise with babies and especially for a long time. Yeah, I mean I look after the cousins at our family get together, willingly let them dress me up like Disney princesses and run around with them, or send the young kids to sleep easily but that was only for a few hours a few times a year. We would have to do this a few times every day for the rest of our lives. Jeez, let's slow down on the existential crisis.

The last time I was in this house was before the whole bombing case and was coming up to two months ago, coffee this time of night seemed delightful. But I was an insomniac back then. Finding Joe put me back into a good sleeping pattern and ten in the evening seemed a wonderful bedtime. Xav poured water into a kettle – something I demanded in this house despite them not being too popular in America, a coffee maker was a better alternative – and stuck it on to boil. I quickly jumped up onto the kitchen side.

What? My intentions was never to make the coffee, it was to get this awkward conversation with Xav out the way and not in front of people. I wanted to tell Xav soon because he kept giving me funny looks from across the room. I guess if he could still get the medical feedback from me he knows something major has changed.

'What is weird, Xav, enlighten me on what is weird?' I asked knowing what it would be about.

'I'm still getting interference off you.'

'I know why.' I replied smugly, biting my lip. I knew telling Xav I was pregnant would be the worst mistake I could make but I was dying to tell someone. Suddenly, I wasn't too sure how to tell him or even how he would take it, but Xav would keep pestering me about this for the entire week we would be over here if I didn't tell him soon.

'Why?'

'If I tell you, you have to promise to be quiet.'

'Why would I be loud? What have you done? Did you get a tattoo done?' He asked.

'No, I know what you'd react and the decibel meter wouldn't have an appropriate level for you. Also, you can't tell anyone.'

'Not even Crystal?'

'Jesus Christ no, especially not Crystal. I will tackle her in my own time on the mountain somewhere. The decibel scale won't have a high enough reading for her noise, too.' I simply said and he narrowed his eyes at me.

'What have you done?'

I sighed, the words never coming out of my mouth. I thought it would be easy just to tell him, just to say the words I've been whispering, singing and shouting in my brain for the last few weeks but once it came to actually talking about it, and telling someone, I froze up. The only person I talked too freely was Joe for obvious reasons. Even though several people knew, I couldn't discuss it yet. Even Michael didn't know at this stage. We were both buzzing about it, but I froze up entirely. Xav continued to stare as I opened and closed my mouth like a fish out of water, taking jiggered breaths.