Just a Dream {Girl Meets World}

20: I Messed Up

Chapter Twenty
Riley Matthews

    I kept on running until my feet ached. I stopped at a street corner and grasped onto one of the streetlights. I panted like a dog, trying to catch my breath. I looked behind me, making sure that she wasn't behind me.

    I messed up, and boy did I mess up bad.

    I ruined everything. I ruined my relationship with the only person that I am able to communicate with.

    I might have made things worse by running away, but I messed up so badly that I just had to.

    Maya knows that I like her. Well, she's always known that I like her because who the heck doesn't like their best friend? I know that best friends argue sometimes, and that may be a reason why for someone might feel hatred towards their best friend, but if someone befriends someone they dislike and pretend to be their friend, then that friendship is fake. I'm talking about "like like". You know, the term a kid around my age might say instead of using the word "crush". Well, I like like my best friend, Maya Hart, and she just happened to figure it out.

    The weird thing is, I didn't start to develop feelings for her until today. It all started when she playfully nudged my arm when we were standing in front of the tree in Rockefeller Center. I felt butterflies in my stomach, and before I knew it, my face was red. The worst part was that Maya saw me blushing and was the one who pointed it out to me! At that moment, I was so afraid that she was going to realize the real reason to why I was blushing. Why do I have to be a blusher? You know how there's some people who never blush no matter how embarrassed they get, and then there's people who blush even by the thought of being embarrassed? Why can't I be one of those people who never blush? Life would be so much easier if I was one of those people.

    But, oh man, did I mess up! When I fell on top of Maya at the iceskating rink, I just couldn't stop blushing! When our faces were inches apart, I had the sudden urge to kiss her. But, I didn't want the urge to be there. I wanted it to go away. But staring into her beautiful, blue eyes like I did certainly did not help. When she held me like that and I made no attempt to push myself away, that's when Maya figured it all out. She figured out that I like liked her. At that moment, there was just too much going on inside of me that I dashed off. I was so embarrassed that she found out. I ruined our friendship. I mean Maya likes boys, and only boys, right? She'd never like me. She probably got grossed out.

    But why out of all people did I have to develop feelings for Maya? This is my first time ever having feelings for someone of the female gender. All of my past crushes were male. Does this mean that I'm... Oh god no... I have no problem with those type of people, but why must I be like that? Like really if I was going to like boys and girls, I couldn't of been warned about it sooner? The last fortune cookie that I got couldn't of said something like, "Unwanted feelings towards your best friend are guaranteed to come your way in the near future,"? But, if I'm going to like girls too, then why can't I develop feelings for someone I'm barely with? Why did it have to be with someone I am with 24/7?

    Hold up. Maya was the one who kept on holding me like that. She could have just easily put me down. But, I could have easily gotten up from there, but no, I stayed like that. I remember her staring into my eyes the same way I was staring into hers. With love. With passion. A burning, fiery passion. I was giving her heart eyes and she returned the favor. Was it possible that Maya like liked me too?