Between You & Me || Luke & Jai Brooks

Chapter XLVI - Déjà Vu

"Jai, what the hell?!" I yell, twisting in the air to a stop.

"Meghan, keep running and don't look back. I'll be back in 10." Jai replies in an almost casual tone. Remembering last night though makes me a little nervous. How mad is he at me? Is he actually alright? How much is he bothered by Luke and I right now? Because I don't want to run away and find out he was killed. Then it hits me, just how much his death would affect me. More than Luke's? The little voice at the back of my head whispers. I freeze as a chill goes down my spine from those whispered words, then I hear Jai yell again.

"For fuck's sake, Meghan!" And I don't let myself think twice this time, I turn and spring off running again.

****
"Luke! Luke!" I yell, running through the hotel hallway, into each room. Our room is the last along the hallway but I run, bursting into our room, to find it empty. I run back down the hallway, still yelling, and lean right out the back window, but there's no sign of them. I double check our room again but he's not there, and I pace a few times before kicking the bedpost in frustration. "Fucking hell." I curse under my breath, sitting down in despair.

"Meghan?"

"Gina! Where are the boys?" I cry, turning to see Gina standing awkwardly in the doorway, eyes on the knife in my hand. I tuck it behind my back hastily.

"Well I don't know where Jai is, we've been looking for him all morning! I kind of hoped you'd know. But the rest of the boys had to get on the bus to take them to the venue! It's 10:30."

I squeeze my eyes shut briefly. "Oh shit. Gina, Jai's-"

"Right here, mum!" Jai walks in through the door, hugging Gina tightly round her waist. Gina's face relaxes into a smile.

"Oh thank god, Jai, you scared the shit out of me. Come on, let's get you both down to the venue." Jai follows Gina out, waiting at the door for me to give my shoulder a reassuring squeeze. My eyes are wide but he nods a little to me and pulls me in tight, really tight for a few seconds to plant a kiss hard on the top of my head. And I stay there for a while, the same thought going through my head, leaving me unhinged.

When did this even become a question? I ask myself, but the answer to that really is when wasn't it? I mean, Jai was always my best friend, wasn't he? Fuck.

****
"Meghan! Thank god, you scared the shit out of me." Luke says, wrapping me in his arms as I walk through the door. His words strike a strange sense of déjà vu, because didn't Gina say almost the same words to Jai 15 minutes ago? And then didn't Jai hold me exactly like this, and kiss me exactly in this spot?

Luke holds me for longer though, and his arms are familiar. I feel his chest shudder a bit when he takes a deep breath in, and put my arm around his waist to pull him tighter. "I love you." He whispers into my hair quietly. But for once, for some reason, I can't bring myself to say it confidently back, because all I can think about is Jai holding me like this 15 minutes earlier, and part of me is wishing that he was holding me now. "You mean a lot to me, Luke." I reply, and it sounds so weak and hollow that I can't help the sob coming out of my throat. He holds me tighter but even though our bodies are close, there's a distance between us that feels like I'm staring across a giant canyon with no way across.