Beneath Your Beautiful // Michael Clifford

10

Ali

"Luke stop!" I shriek as he tries to throw water at me.

I accidentally knocked my water and it got all over him and now he is after me. "Never. Just surrender now." Luke yells back.

"In your dreams quiff boy." I taunt running upstairs.

"Screw you, my mum would kill me if I spilled water up there." Luke pouts and I hear him set the glass down the shortly after meet me in his room.

"Sucks for you." I stick out my tongue like a child.

"Yeah whatever." He grumbles sitting next to me on his bed. "So you and Michael.." Luke wiggles his eyebrows.

"What about us?" I blush a little.

"Do you not think Michael told me?" He chuckles.

"Whatever." I mumble. "But yeah, it was nothing. We are just friends." I clarify for Luke.

"Just because Ashton says you can't date means nothing." Luke tells me.

"I don't want a relationship though." I shrug.

"He does though."

//

"Michael, no. I can't." I argue just after he says he likes me.

"Why not?! I don't care if Ashton doesn't want you to date us. I can't date whoever the fuck I want. I like you a lot, I've only known you for a little over a month but I'm falling for you." Michael gives me this huge speech.

I shake my head. "But I don't want to ruin my relationship with Ashton. And I'm not ready for a relationship."

"You can't be scared forever." He walks closer to me.

"But right now I am." I confess.

"I don't want you to be afraid of me because I'm nothing like that." He tells me.

"I know that. It still doesn't change the fact that I'm scared." I wipe under my eyes trying not to make my tears noticeable.

"I know you like me."

I look down at the ground. "I don't like you." I say quietly.

"God, it's always about you! When have you asked me what's going on in my life?" He raises his voice.

"Mich-" I start.

"Look at me in the eyes and tell me that because I know you don't mean it." He places one hand on my shoulder and the other lifting up my head.

I look him directly in the eyes. "I don't know why I started talking to you, I don't like you and I'm done talking to you, Michael Clifford." There were tears streaming down his face.

It hurt me so much that I hurt him.

"You don't mean that." He shakes his head.

"Bye, Clifford." I begin walking to his bedroom door.

He grabs my arm turning me around and smashing his lips to mine. I kiss back but quickly push him off me. I walk to the door looking back at him one last time.

"Bye shortie." He mumbles.

Once I was out of his house I immediately start crying.

Michael

God damnit. I usually go to Ashton when anything like this happens, but I can't. I call but no answer.

"Uh, hey, I'm getting bad again." My voice cracks as I leave the message. "I'm at my house, please hurry."

I search around for something in my bathroom drawer. I try to stop myself but I reach for the object my actions doing even though my mind says to stop.

I wanted to do this, I wanted to not get back into this. I haven't felt so much pain in ages, but here I was on my bathroom floor. I graze my skin with razor barely cutting my skin but blood was still visible. I cut a little deeper each time before some bursts into the bathroom.

"Michael, stop!" Calum yells complete fright taking over him as he rips the razor out of my hand. "Damnit." His voice cracks as he helps clean my arm.

"I'm sorry." Is all I say not knowing what else to tell him.

He has me hold a towel to my arm as we head back to my room.

"Why?" He asks. "Shit, when I got that voicemail I got so scared, I thought I'd be too late. I thought you were good." Calum says a few tears leaving his eyes.

"Ali is my happiness. I might only have known her for a little over a month but I really like her. She doesn't want me in her life and regrets meeting me. You have no idea how much it hurts having your happiness ripped away from you." I begin to cry again.

"Shhh.." He brings me into his arms. "I know it's hard, but your go to shouldn't be harming yourself. Everything will be fine, Mikey. You just have to push through."

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Calum is such a good friend. :))) um but go check out my new Ashton book that I just published.

lots of love -Gabby xx