Crack Fic Because Lol, Wut?

Jack-Ass Vessalius

>> If you wanna know what anime this is from, it's Pandora Hearts. Gracious is actually not in the anime, she is my OC. In Pandora Hearts, she's this beautiful purple dragon that's the size of a Golden Retriever. Please, I have had too many people think she was the size of a fucking T-rex. No. Wtf. She's the size of a dog, she's only like 18 years in human age, but in dragon age, she's 6. When I'm just free styling an rp like in the past chapters, she's either human form {{ 16 years old }} or dragon. You know what, you'll learn more information about Gracious in my other book, Gracious's Last Wish. I think that's the title... Great, I forgot and am too lazy to check, whatever. READ THE DAMN CHAPTER, I'M TIRED
Hearts of the Divine by Somo is a beautiful song that I so happen to be listening to, ah, now it's Jumpman by Drake and Future.
What am I doing with my life..? <<

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"FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!!"
Jack looked behind him at his young dragonet with a startled expression. "Why the reputation of the foul language?"
"Aaaaahhhhhh...... Well, there's a big.... ass.... spider...."
Giving a small sigh, Jack went over to her. "This is a big spider to you??" he asked, looking upon the little speck of dust with eight legs.
"Hey! It looks big if you compare it to your dick."

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"Why do you hate rabbits so much?" asked the Vessalius duke.
"Oooohhhhh, you just had to bring that up...."
"What is so bad about them? If you hate rabbits, how are you friends with Alice?"
"Because.... Wait.... Alice is a rabbit..?"
A soft slap to his face as he face-palmed. "All... this time, you didn't even know??"
"All this time, you didn't know you were a pedophile??"

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"Why does Alois Trancy wear booty shorts?" asked Gracious.
"Who?"
"You know. The blonde boy who sticks his tongue out like Miley Cyrus."
"... Who's Miley Cyrus?!"
"DO YOU KNOW WHO ANYONE IS?!"
"You didn't know Alice was a rabbit."
"Hey, she never showed or told me!!"
"Haven't you overheard people referring to her as B-rabbit?"
"That's what that meant?! I thought they were calling her a bitch fucker.."

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"Graaaacioouusss!~"
"For fuck's sake, quit saying my name like that, you sound like you're gonna rape me tonight again!!"

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"Master Jack!!"
"Hm?"
"How much truffle butter do you eat??"
".......... Excuse me??"
"How much truffle butter do you eat??"
"Truffle butter?? I've never heard of that type of butter before.."
"That answers my question."

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"Master Jack!!"
"Hm?"
"Do you like thots?"
"...........Excuse me??"
"Do you like thots?"
"Thoughts? Well, I have many thoughts every now and then.."
"You're my hero."

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"Oooohhhh!! You can suck the more purple parts of my ass!!!"
"Gracious! Do not tell Elliot to suck your ass. You tell him to suck my nuts."
"HOLY SHIT, MASTER JACK, I WOULD NEVER EXPECT SOMETHING LIKE THAT FROM YOU, WHAT'S GOING ON?!"
Elliot flips the both of them off.

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Gracious has lost Master Jack in a crowd and can't find him.
"This calls for drastic measures.." She cups her claws around her snout. "ELLIOT NIGHTRAY SUCKS PURPLE ASS!!"
"ELLIOT NIGHTRAY IS SUPPOSED TO SUCK MY NUTS!!"
"Found him."

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"Nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga! I'm 100% nigga!"
"Say that word one more time and I disown you."
"What word??"
"Nigger!!"
"MASTER JACK, THAT'S RACIST, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU HYPOCRITE?!"

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Gracious presents a can of candy to Master Jack.
"Put that candy back, I am not buying you all that mess!"
Gracious throws the can at him and it hits him in the face.
Jack puts a finger up threateningly. "Try me, bitch!!"

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>> Tell me if you guys liked that! If you did, then maybe I'll put more of it up, how about that? I feel confident about these! <<