Working Love

24

I had called and picked James up, and we made our way into the club. The music was pumping, and the smell of alcohol, smoke and lust was mixed in the air. I made my way towards the bar, and orders the strongest drink they had.

"Dude, what the hell are we doing here?" James looked around the crowed room before focusing his eyes back on me.

"What the fuck does it look like?" I quickly downed my drink, and ordered another one.

"Carter, this is fucking nuts! You're married, to a great guy. Ethan is only hurt that Katherina is able to give you something he will never be able to do. And the fact that you guys just recently got married isn't helping the situation either. You both need to take a break and cool off, but you both still need to try and fix this." I know he had a point, but I didn't really care. The memory of Ethan telling me he was going out with that Adam guy, it was still pissing me off.

"I don't care! If Ethan wants to go out with other guys, than fuck it." I know I sound like a spoiled brat, but can you blame me? When he was in the hospital I never left his side. I waited everyday for him to wake up. But I make one possible mistake, and it's like I'm the biggest piece of shit in existence. I know I make mistakes, but not enough to deserve all of this.

*********************

James

I watched my best friend drink himself into huge mess. He had so many drinks, I would have to start using my toes to count them all. He was currently dancing on a table with some random girls. I sat at the bar with my arms crossed glaring up at him as I watched him make an even bigger ass of himself. This had gone on for way too long now.

"Okay, that's enough." I grabbed his hand and pulled him down, catching him before he fell. "Carter, man, enough!"

"Fuck off!" He tried to yank his hand from me, but my grip was too strong. Especially given that his strength was low due to all the alcohol in his system. I pulled him out of the club, grabbing a cup of water on my way out. Once we were outside I handed him the cup, almost shoving the thing in his face.

"Drink!" He took it and followed me to the car. I looked behind me and saw him trying to drink and walk. He reminded me of when we were kids, and he followed me while drinking from his sippy cup. He was so cute and innocent back then, it's almost sad to see just how much he has changed since then.

"Done!" He handed me the cup and got in the car. I drove back to his house, and helped him out the car. He was passing out, and I didn't want him puking in the car. Again.

"Come on man, let's go." I unbuckled him, and helped him out. He gets heavier when he's drunk, and that's saying something considering the guys is already built like a fucking tank.  He took one look at the dark mansion, and pushed away from me. He landed on the ground after hitting the car. I sighed as I watched him squirming around in pain like a bug.

"Ouch." He tried to get back up, but failed. I pulled him up, and flung him over my shoulder as much as I could. I fished out his keys and opened the door. Once inside I walked towards the living room and set him on the long couch, and started a fire. The lights may be too harsh for him right now. Once I have the fire going I stand back up and toss my jacket on the nearest chair. I turned back to look at him, and had to stop myself from blushing. He was sprawled on the couch, his shirt halfway up. It showed his v-cut and part of his abs. His brown hair was messy, and his lips were parted.

How sad is it having a secret crush on your best friend? I never said anything, because I always thought he was as straight as they come. So you can imagine my surprise when he fell for Ethan. I was more surprised when I was okay with it. Yeah, it hurt. A lot. I actually cried, but I never told anyone. My biggest desire was for Carter to be happy, and to finally settle down. So I was happy he found Ethan. He tamed the wild beast known as Carter. That is something neither I, nor anyone else was ever able to do. 

"James." His voice was raspy and deep. He looked at me through the hair covering his eyes. His cheeks were red from the blood rushing to his face. He looked so mouthwatering, but I calmed myself down like I always do.

"Hey. You better now?" I was not expecting what happened next. He sat up so fast, and pulled me closer to him. His hands wrapped around my waist, while he buried his face on my stomach. His body was shaking, letting me know he was crying.

"Why?! Why does everyone I love always leave me?! First my mom, and now Ethan?" I rubbed his back, and sat down next to him. He was now laying down, but still holding my waist. I have only seen Carter break down once like this, and that was after his mother's funeral. It breaks my heart to see him like this.

"Hey. Come on now. The carter I know." The carter I love. "He's strong. Ethan is just hurting right now, but he hasn't left you." I use one hand to rub circles on his back, while the other is combing through his soft hair.

"What am I gonna do if he leaves me for good? Aside from you, he's the only one who ever made me feel clean. He made me forget what it was like to be alone." I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and held him closer to me. Just like when we were kids and he got hurt, I held him. I laid down next to him, and pulled him into my arms. I haven't had to do this in such a long time.

What no one knows, is that Carter has gone to therapy for many years in secret. The toll of losing his mother was harsh. And it stunned something inside of him. After the lose of his mother, and his dad burying himself into his work. Carter began to crave affection in any way that he could get it. He is actually just an over grown child, wanting someone to love him unconditionally. Just like his mother did. Apart of me wishes that was me, but I know it's not. Ethan is the one for him.

He calmed down for a bit, but I knew he was still drunk off his ass. He didn't let go of me, just laid there quietly for a moment before he spoke again. "James?" His voice sounded a little more even, but I could tell he wasn't over everything just yet.

"Yeah?" I was looking at the ceiling, while playing with his hair. I've always loved how soft it is.

"Why did you kiss me that day?" I thought back to the day I stole a kiss from him. Best day of my life if I'm being honest.

"Why do you ask?" I had to make sure my voice sounded even, so he wouldn't figure me out.

"Because I wanna know." It's because I've loved you since we were in dippers, and I have always dreamed of kissing you.

"I told you, to see if you were really gay."

"Oh." He was quiet, so I thought he fell a sleep. "Was it bad?" Was not expecting that. Should I be honest with him and say yes, or lie and say no? God this sucks.

"Can't say. I've never kissed another dude before." But lord knows I wanted to kiss him longer that day.

"Hey James?"

"Yeah?" Before I could even blink, he had pulled me down onto the couch and he was now hovering over me. His hands on either side of my head, staring down at me with those beautiful blue eyes of his. Every time I would look into his eyes, it was like getting lost at sea. They were also so endless, they made me feel like I could drown inside of them. He was so close, I could feel his warm breath on my lips.

"You wanna try it again?"