Working Love

7

"So let me get this straight. You, Carter Jonathan McClain, actually kissed a man. And you liked it?" I threw my book at him, but the jackass dodged it.

"Shut up!" I laid back down on my bed and stared at the ceiling. I called James this morning once I woke up. He's the only one I can trust to talk about this with.

"So why exactly are you mad?" He was now standing over me. "He is your fiance. This stuff is normal."

"Not to me!" I got off my bed and walked towards my window. "I'm straight James. I love sleeping with woman, but I don't know what possessed me to kiss him last night." I felt him place a hand on my shoulder. I turned to face him, and came into contact with his lips. I instantly pushed him off. "James! What the fuck!" I wiped my mouth and glared at him.

"Well, you're not gay." He simply placed a finger to his lips.

"No shit! Why did you kiss me?!" I took a drink off my coke and glared at him.

"I wanted to see something. I guess Ethan is the only man that kissing doesn't bother you. Why not see if you can do it again?" I looked at him like he lost his mind, which he might just have.

"And how do I do that. Last time he was asleep, and he has no idea that it happened. I can't exactly go up and say 'hey Ethan, can I kiss you? I wanna see if maybe I'm becoming gay or something'."

"Why not?" I gave him another glare before sitting on my desk chair.

"I'm not doing that. Besides, Ethan isn't like me." I looked back out my window, and watched the birds sitting on the fountain in our yard. "Ethan is innocent, through and through. I don't want to dirty him." I don't know where that came from, but it's the truth. I always come home and scrub myself raw, because I feel dirty after I sleep with those women. I don't want to dirty someone as pure as Ethan.

"Carter." I turned to face James, and saw him looking at me with a small smile. "Carter I have known you my whole life, I know the kind of man you are. You could sleep with a married woman, and still face her husband. You never cared about them in the past, and I never judged you for it. So for you to say you don't want to dirty Ethan, it means you care about him." Do I care about Ethan? I have only really seen him three times, and I just got to know him. How could I care about someone I hardly know?

"James, promise me you won't say anything to anyone. If I can avoid this, I will."

"But Carter." I stuck my hand up to stop him.

"No. I don't know for sure what my feelings for him are. But if by some small chance, this is something more, I won't dirty him."

*******************

After I told James what happened, I tried avoiding Ethan as much as possible. I was doing a good job, until my father said we would be taking a vacation with his family.

"Dad, do I have to." We were all packed and in the car heading to our private jet. Apparently Ethan and his parents were already there.

"For the love of god Carter, you sound like a child. Sit up straight, you are a grown man." He pulled out his phone and called his Secretary. He was making sure everything was running smoothly while we were gone. While he did that I checked my phone. I had a text message from an unknown number.

"I'm sorry about my parents forcing you to come, I know you probably had plans. But I hope you will be able to enjoy yourself. -Ethan." That idiot. I quickly saved his number, and put my phone away. I guess I can try and make the best of this.

We arrived at the airport and were escorted to our own private section. Passing by people giving us envious or lustful looks. This happens every time we come here.

"Charles! Carter!" We see Alastor waving at us, along with his wife Val. Ethan was standing next to them smiling. How can someone's smile, no less a man's, have such an effect on me? It's almost like, because of that smile, I am willing to go on this vacation.

"Hello Alastor, Val, Ethan." He shook hands with all of them. I did too, but Ethan's is the only who had an effect. I am starting to get used to the warmth he gives off.

We boarded the plain and got comfortable. We were heading to the Bahamas for two weeks. I was looking forward to seeing all those sexy women in their bathing suits.

"Carter?" I looked up from my thoughts and saw Ethan standing there. Why did a sudden wave of guilt just pass inside me? Did I feel bad that I was thinking about women?

"Hey, what's up?" I saw him holding his travel bag with him.

"Would you mind if I sit next to you? Mother and father are discussing wedding plans with your father." I took my bag off the seat and let him sit down. He smiled at me as he sat down, I couldn't help but smile back. I learned he truly is a sweet guy, and I decided to stop being such an ass to him.

"What are you working on?" Halfway into the flight he started working on something. He flipped the book over and showed me a sketch. I took it in my hands, and was amazed by all the detail behind it. "Is, is this, me?" The guy in the drawing was staring out the window, his face shining from the light of the morning sun. He seemed deep in thought, but he seemed too peaceful to be me.

"Sorry. The light was hitting you just right, and I couldn't help myself." He tried to reach for it, but I moved it out of his reach.

"Can I have this?" I never took my eyes off the drawing. How can this man capture me so innocently. Me, a tainted and dirty man.

"Sure, I'm glad you like it." He smiled and took the picture out of the sketchbook carefully. He even signed it for me. I placed it inside my folder in my bag, and made sure it didn't get ruined. Could this man be able to see beyond my filth and find someone like this? I looked at him drawing our parents next. No, I can't let someone so pure be with someone like me. I refuse to allow myself to dirty him.