Being a carter. (Eastenders)

Sixteen

I laid there in the hospital bed and I was in pain not just from the surgery but from the loss of JJ, I laid there in bed tears falling down my cheeks Mick had been gone a while and apparently had gone home according to the nurse that come in a while ago I laid there and felt guilt all over me I should never of spoke to him like that he was hurting to.

I sit up in bed and I look at the clock it was 5 o'clock and Mick had been gone for about 5 hours now and I wanted to see him more than anything but I guess I had hurt him and I was regretting it he was already hurt and I was a total bitch.
The door opened and I look hoping it was Mick but it wasn't it was Sharon
"Hey" I said looking at her standing there in front of the closed door
"Ellie I'm so sorry" she said walking over and dropping the overnight bag she had by the bed she leaned over bringing me in a hug
I pulled away wiping the tears I had shed with my hands
"I brought you some stuff" she said as she sat down in the chair
"Thanks" I sighed looking at her "take it Mick sent you"
"No course not, I saw Mick he told me about the"
"Miscarriage" I said helping her out knowing she didn't want to say it
"Yeah, he said that you needed stuff and I offered to bring it over as I wanted to see you"
"I was a total bitch to him, I screamed at him told him to leave, deep down I didn't want him to but I just needed a second to cry on my own and he left and he hasn't been back."
"He will come back he just needs time to clear his head and sort out the pub, how about we freshen you up for when he does" she said with a smile opening the bag getting out my hair brush

I get back in bed with the help of Sharon and I felt clean and fresh I felt like I had been covered In magic I hadn't realised how dirty I must have felt even though I couldn't shower due to not being aloud a strip wash with the help of Sharon really helped
"Thanks for that" I said
"Not a problem what are friends for"
I look at her and smile as I try and get comfy again
"Okay I know this isn't the time but I really want to ask you"
"Okay I'm intrigued" I smiled at her
"Well you know about the wedding but I really want the reception at the vic, will you do that for me"
"Of course that's the least I can do after today"
Just then the door opened and in walks Mick
"Think that's my cue to leave" she said getting up and picking up her hand bag she leans over and gives me a hug
"Thanks for everything" I said
"It's nothing Ellie, rest up and I will see you soon"
I nod my head and she leaves the room after patting Mick softly on the arm
I look at Mick standing there and I burst into tears
Mick walks over and sits carefully on the bed and pulls me into a hug
"We will get through this Elle, it will just take time" he said as he rubs my back comforting me
"I never meant to shout at you earlier, I feel awful for treating you like that, even more so as I know how your feeling right now"
"It's okay, you needed to clear your nut I get that you needed space"
Mick got more comfy on the bed and laid back and I cuddled into him and we stayed in silence for a while
"I'm sorry" I said in a whisper
"What?" Mick said not moving an inch
"I said I'm sorry"
"I heard what you said Elle but what you going on about you have nothing to be sorry about"
"I do I lost our baby, if it weren't for me"
"Look don't start all that it's not your fault. We going to get through this because you and I we can survive anything"
I nod my head slightly and wipe the tear that was running down my cheek