Being a carter. (Eastenders)

Eighteen

My phone rung for what seemed like the fiftieth time I roll over in bed picking it up and watch it ring in my hand, seeing his name Mick flash up made my heart beat fast, I fight the urge to answer it all I wanted to do was hear his voice. I watch it ring till it goes to voicemail and I put the phone back down I then pick it up again and I decide to turn it off.

I get up out of bed and i leave the bedroom and I head to the kitchen to be greeted by my grandad
"Morning princess" my grandad said handing my a coffee he had in his hand
"Morning" I said with a slight smile sitting down at the table putting a sugar in it and stirring it.

"How did you sleep?" He asks has he sits down opposite me with his coffee and bowl of cereal.
"Well" I lied before taking a sip of my coffee.
"So is Mick following you up?" My grandad asked looking at me I shook my head and looked down, I hadn't told my grandparents why I turned up last night they didn't know anything.

"Look princess, you don't seem yourself and your nan she saw that straight away" my grandad said as he chewed on his cornflakes.
I looked at my grandad and I knew that I'd have to tell all sooner or later as my nan was like CSI once she was on to something.
Just then my nan walks in and greets me and my grandad.
"Morning" I say to her not looking up from my coffee.
"Del you could of done the girl some breakfast" she muttered.
"I'm okay thanks" I say but my nan was to busy giving my grandad an ear bashing to hear me.
"You feed your own gut but not your Ellie's, look at her just look skin and bone" she said carrying on at my grandad ignoring me.
"Nan I'm not hungry I'm fine" I told her.
"What do you want toast cereal, I can do you some scrambled egg on toast or an omelet you love them"
"For Christ sake Kathy leave her alone she's not hungry" my grandad yells shutting my nan up instantly.
"Don't yell at me fella" my nan says turning around and playfully tapping my grandad around his head,

I look at them and see how happy they are they had my uncle and mum so young and very close together my nan was a teenager when she had both of them by the age of nineteen she was married and had two children under the age of two.
My grandad jokes saying he only married the old Bint because he got her in trouble with my uncle Bradley he said if she never got pregnant with him he would of loved her and left her, but you can see deep down its true love.

I sit there and my nan looks at me deep in thought
"So Ellie bean" my nan said looking at me from behind my grandad my nan hadn't said that in a long time she used to call me that when I was a kid.

I look at her knowing where this was going to go.
"Yeah what?" I replied.
"Okay so I know somethings happened what is it, I'm not a fool I know you"
I look at my nan then my grandad and go to get up but my grandad clicks his fingers causing me to stop and look at him he points his finger down asking me to sit back down and I sit there feeling like I was being told off my dad and grandad had done that to me my whole life and I felt like I was 15 again not 28.
My nan gets some breakfast and sits down at the table putting a cut open grapefruit in front of me with a spoon and looks at me as to say eat it but I push it away and look at them both.
"Okay now tell all" my nan said to me
"I left Mick" I said not being able to look at them both.
"Why?" My nan said softly
"Did he hurt you princess? did he have an affair?, I swear to god if he hurt you" my grandad said gearing himself up as if he was going to war.
"No grandad it's nothing like that"
"Well tell us then why did you walk out on him Ellie! His a good man" my nan said.
"I know nan I know" I said tears building up in my eyes.
My nan grabs my hand "come on Ellie tell us we can help"
"I'm so messed up right now nan and I don't no how to get myself back" I said sobbing into my hands.
"It can't be that bad princess" my grandad said from across the table
"So why do you think your messed up for?" My nan asked me
"I come out of hospital two days ago " I said looking at them both
"Why what happened?" My nan said looking at me confused "why didn't you say anything? Why didn't Mick ring and tell us or even your mum?"
"I told him not to I didn't want the fuss"
"Fuss your our granddaughter your mum should of been informed"
"Kathy let the girl talk!" My grandad said through a mouthful of cornflakes.
" there was a fight in the pub and I got hurt I got knocked over I landed on a pint glass" I stand up and lift my top revealing my fresh cut that was starting to heal and leave a perfect nasty scar
"Jesus" my grandad said looking at it
"That's not the end of it" I said looking to them both sitting down tears in my eyes "I was pregnant"
"Was?" My grandad said confused
"Yeah I lost the baby due to the accident, I miscarried" I said crying again.
"Oh god Ellie I'm sorry I'm so sorry sweetie"
I sit there and my nan gets up and walks round wrapping her arms around my shoulders.
"Sssh it be okay" she said kissing my wet cheek.
"I left Mick and I don't even know why, I feel like I've ruined everything I feel like I've lost apart of me"
"You have honey and I can't say that feeling will change but you learn to live with it"
"I feel guilty nan, and being around everyone at the vic there tip toeing around me, i just felt I couldn't breath, Mick just wanted me to hide away but I couldn't do that I needed to work but that didn't work out well I just want to be me but I'm a mess"
"It was just being there, you just need space clear your head an to find you again"
"Does Mick know your here princess"
"No no he don't I left a note not saying really anything"
My grandad nods his head and drinks the rest of his coffee.
"Go take a shower and freshen up" my nan said rubbing my head
I nod my head knowing that was code for piss off we want to chat about you so I get up taking my coffee with me and head for the bathroom.