Once Was, Never Again

Chapter 18: What did I do to Deserve You?

I slip my shoes off as soon as I step into Ryan's house, pushing them against the nearest wall before I slowly shuffle in to the warm living room. I sorta just plop myself down on to the couch with a leg under me and the other off the edge of the couch, staring at the low flames in the fireplace.

I hear footsteps go down the hall and then a door suddenly opening and closing, then a minute or two later, the sound of a door opened and closed again while those same footsteps come back down the hall.
I heard Ryan kick off his shoes by the front door before he makes his way towards the fire, split wood logs piled in his arms. He kneels down and stacks the split logs up in the log carrier before he grabs the poker and moves the barely lit firewood in an attempt to ignite the low- dying flames. He sighs softly, tending to the fire to get it going again.

Once he was done, he brushes his hands off and stands back up and turns towards me. I look up to return his soft gaze and held it for a few moments, before he broke it and walked out of the room. I stare at the fire again, watching the strong flames flicker away.

Was he waiting for me to say something? If he was, I had nothing to offer at the time being. I was still trying to collect my feelings and overall thoughts about what took place today, right down to the second we pulled away from Dad's house.

Ryan and I haven't spoken a word since we got in his truck, not one peep.
I wonder what he was thinking when him and Dad got into that fight, what he was thinking when he came and picked me up? Hell, what was he thinking now?
I frown and brought my hands up to slowly run over my face before I thread my fingers through my hair.

I shift and I glance behind my shoulder into the kitchen, seeing the man -that pretty much saved me from having to deal with my father later- work on making something. I couldn't tell. I turn back around, shifting my gaze down to my hands as I moved my thumbs around idly, allowing myself to zone out with thought.

I can't help but to keep thinking about today, about what dad and Ryan said after I ran out of the office. Obviously if Ryan was upset and didn't want to be with me, he wouldn't have came and picked me up, so maybe it didn't go as bad as I'm thinking it did, but the way dad acted when he came home after work, told me otherwise.

I run my fingers through my hair once more before I quietly slid off of the couch onto the floor and walked on my knees to the front of the fireplace and sat down, stretching my legs out in front of me with a soft sigh.

Not long after I settled by the warm fire, I hear very soft footsteps coming up behind me, the sound of a glass or something like that being placed on the table behind me. I hear shuffling and a soft noise coming from Ryan as he sat down on the floor and scooted up behind me, his legs on either side of mine as his hands slowly ran up and down my arms before they moved to my waist, which he began to pull be back against him.

I smile softly, lightly patting the side of his leg. I felt him reach back for a few seconds and then gingerly bring whatever he grabbed- in front of me and held it there, "I made you your favorite tea..." He murmurs, "I thought maybe it would calm your nerves a bit." I cautiously took the mug from his hand, "Careful, it's hot." He warns and I nod my head.

"Thank you." I mumble and took a small sip of the steaming hot peppermint tea, careful not to burn myself in the process. It's so sweet that he knows when my nerves are shot, how to calm them down in many more ways than one, I bet he knows that just having him be present calms my nerves. I wonder if I should ask about what happened after I left, like what did Dad say?

Ryan rests his chin on my shoulder and his arms gently, but securely, wrap around my waist as he sighs softly. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asks, "We don't have to, but I know you well enough to know that you want to."