Kiss Me My Darling, Darling I Need You.

Chapter 14: From the Ground.

|Matt|

"When a father gives to his son, both laugh; when a son gives to his father, both cry."

–William Shakespeare.

"Okay, buddy, daddy will be back soon." I told Seth from the other side of the baby gate. He stared dazedly up at me with a snack bag of various notorious snacks in one hand and a sippy cup of water in the other. He just got up from his nap and I was about to go and get my mom so she can meet her Grandson and explain why I have been avoiding her like the plague all day. Bow sat on the floor in the middle of the room, pretzel legged. She was preparing herself to deal with Seth's melt down over me leaving.

I leaned over the gate and kissed the top of his head then walked out the front door. Immediately I heard him shriek loudly in distress. Bow told me that I couldn't go back in to comfort him, I needed just to keep going and she'll calm him down. It wasn't easy walking away from him when he was so upset. He was my baby and I couldn't just let him cry like that. But Bow said that I'll make things worse if I go back to calm him down. So I just kept walking until his anguished cries were gone.

Today has been a bitter sweet day. There are a lot of things I've never done before that I've done today. It was like a crash course into fatherhood. Bow said that tomorrow he has Daycare. I told her I'd be more than happy to be there to see him off to Daycare. Apparently she gets up at six every morning. So I'll need to be there for quarter after six. I had no idea she had to be up that early just to get a head start. But if I want to be a part of his life then I need to adapt to his life.

Nervous doesn't even come close, neither does scared shitless. I've known that I'm a dad for a couple of days now, okay more than a couple of days, and I haven't told either of my parents. Actually, I haven't told anyone. No one knows besides the people directly impacted in the situation. But I'm taking my mom to meet Seth for the first time this evening. She and I usually go for long walks while I'm here so it won't be out of the ordinary for us to go for a walk, I'll lead her all the way back to Bow's apartment where she and Seth will be outside waiting for us. Bow came up with this plan; she didn't want to put Seth in a stressful situation in an unfamiliar place so instead of bringing Seth to the new we're bringing the new to Seth.

The next person I have to tell is my dad. Believe me; I'm sure he's going to respond more dramatically than my mom. He's wanted to have a Grandchild for a long time now. I know he's going to be upset at first but he'll love Seth, just like I know my mom is going to be upset with both myself and Bow but eventually warm up to Seth. And he'll warm up to both of them. We all just need time to adjust.

"Matthew Alexis Busek," I heard my mother draw out my full name. My stomach knotted while my body cringed and my jaw clenched. I proceeded up the stone path to the porch she was standing on, ready to go for a walk. I called her and told her I was on my way over and to be ready to go for a walk. She stood there in dark grey slacks and a matching thin grey sweater. She had her hands on her hips as she looked down at me like I was a child being scolded again. I couldn't help but shrink into myself a little bit.

"Where have you been all day? I got your message that you landed safely and then you never showed up; I didn't get a single word out of you until you called me half an hour ago. You have some explaining to do." She scolded me motheringly. I nodded at her in agreement.

"There's been a slight change of plans, I'm still staying with you but I'm going to be spending a lot of my time with someone else." I told her honestly. I was going to spend as much time with Seth as I can before we fly out to California, together, as a family. The three of us. A family. I am never going to get tired of saying that.