Kiss Me My Darling, Darling I Need You.

Chapter 11: Mama, I Just Killed A Man.

"Is that daddy air-pain?" Seth sang at the large window overlooking the air field. He pointed at an airplane taxiing down the runway. I smiled at him and shrugged my shoulders, crouching down at his side in the arrivals hall. We've been at the airport for almost an hour now, Matt's flight from Chicago was delayed so we had to wait a little while longer. He was supposed to have been here by ten so we got here at nine-thirty. It's now twenty after ten. I wasn't impressed that Matt didn't tell me his flight was delayed, he could've easily sent me a text but he didn't. So I've had to entertain Seth for the past hour.

"Maybe." I replied, petting his soft honey blond curls. I was nervous about seeing Matt again, but seeing Seth excited to see his dad made me less nervous. I don't know how but since that night in Boston when Seth and Matt met for the first time, Seth has known Matt was his daddy. Seth has fallen head over heels in love with Matt, and vise versa, Matt has fallen in love with Seth. I know that I just saved Matt, I could see it in his eyes. The moment I introduced him to Seth I saw something in him change. Something in Seth has changed too. He doesn't latch onto people as quickly as he's latched onto Matt. So believe me when I say when Seth woke up the next morning to find Matt had left, he pitched a fit. He cried uncontrollably the entire hour long drive home. Nina couldn't get him to stop. By the time we hit Cape Cod she was on the verge of tears. I don't think she's ever been this happy to be back home with her parents. When Seth and I got back to the apartment I caved in and texted Rae asking for Matt's cell number. She gave it to me and I let Seth talk to Matt for a while. Matt promised to Skype after dinner but before bath time. That was the routine for almost a week. They'd talk on the phone in the morning before Seth went to Daycare and then after dinner they'd video chat. Seth did most of the talking but Matt would listen and add an uplifting comment once in a while. I'd sit close by and watch the two of them interacting with each other.

I turned to look at the digital board listing flight schedules; Matt's flight from Chicago has landed and is about to unload. I sighed a breath of relief with a smile and turned back to Seth.

"Daddy's plane is here now; why don't we go wait for him?" I didn't even need to finish the question before Seth was pulling me towards the arrivals gate. His blond curls bounced as he did. His little beige hiking boots clanked against the stone floor excitedly. Seth lifted his nose into the air and scanned the fresh crowd of strangers with wide eyes. He unrolled the bright yellow piece of poster paper to reveal vibrant spalshes of paint and glitter which made the thick black letters spelling out 'WELCOME HOME DADDY' stand out even more. He waves it around like a flag of victory. Strangers passing by smiled at the little boy, they were probably thinking that we're some happy family; mommy, daddy and baby all together. It's saddening to know otherwise. But Seth's happiness is what matters most to me now. And Matt makes him happy. He's never been this excited to see someone before. I guess that's why I'm so scared of Matt. Seth loves Matt so much and Matt has the power to break his heart. Seth may not be very good at expressing his emotions but I have listened to his heart beat like it's music on the radio. I will know when it breaks. I'll hear it like glass shattering. My cheeks are in tune with his lips, I will know when they tremble. The crook of my elbow, where he's rested his head so many times, will send a signal to my fist. And I will drive my fist towards whomever ripped my baby's heart apart like it was a piece of scrap paper. Hell hath no fury like an angry mother protecting her child. And I swear to God, there is no place Matt can hide and I won't find him. He can run but he cannot hide. No one will be able to protect him. If he hurts my baby, he will pay.

"Daddy!" Seth shouted, throwing the homemade poster on the ground then bolting towards the man I both loved and feared. Matt dropped his carry-on bag and squatted down with open arms, ready to embrace the three year old as he launched himself into Matt's chest. Matt hoisted Seth up from the ground and squeezed the little boy in a tight hug. Seth squealed obnoxiously. I smiled to myself and picked up the sign from the floor. I lingered a few feet away from them, smiling mindlessly.