Reasons Why (DanxPhil)

Reason 14

Hate- I-um- Hi. It's been awhile huh. I'm kinda glad. I didn't really like you, but you have helped you know. I wish I didn't have this-um- journal, but right not I really need you. There's something happening. Everyone, and I mean everyone, is blaming me for it. I bet you're wondering- who am I kidding you're a piece of fucking paper. Ha. That doesn't matter though. I'M wondering what's going on. Well Phil deleted his YouTube. I know. I know. Scary, right? Phil has officially falling off the face of the earth. No one has heard from him except last night when he deleted his YouTube channel. I moved back to London. I know I'm weak. I was only gone for 8 months, but I'm back. Phil still lives in the same flat. I haven't talked to him yet since everyone has been giving me hate about Phil's disappearance. I know where he is. I'm not a stalker. I just know my best friend. But this is our secret. I will never write it down or anything to give it away. Tweets people have been sending have been getting more mean. YouTube comments are horribly mean. Even fanfics have been about me abusing or torturing Phil. This hate is powerful. It can build someone up. When I look in the mirror I'm staring to see a strong powerful human instead of a dying corpse. I'm starting to walk more confident. I'm starting to become me again. This is all because of the hate i receive everyday. I know i used to complain and cut myself because of it. But now its because I know something no one else does and that is where Phil is. I'm enjoying the hate. It's fueling everything for me right now. I've turned it around. Phil and I have become more close (if that's even possible) and we haven't seen each other in 8 months. My life is glorious. Hate is giving me life and I'm feeling more and more like myself. Thank you so much hate. I love you. I have no idea what I would do without you.

Dan Howell