You- Thank you for keeping me alive. Although my whole life I've hated you. You are truly the only one that has keep me alive. This is honestly my life. Everything I've said has been because it's true. Each one of these things keeps me alive. Even if I'm thinking about dying I remember one reason to keep fighting. Every self inflicted scar is a lost battle, but just by breathing you're winning the war. Many things have been taken from me. Freshman year of high school I dropped all my 'friends' and traded them for someone who cared about me. It was one person that I used to be horrible to. I actually started to talk to them again after they left for a different school in 8th grade. That's when I realized that there are people that care even after you've been horrible to everyone. I've stripped myself of all my emotions after my parents told me I'd never be successful in acting or singing. My friends would always tell me to shut up when I'm singing. I act confident when I'm really falling apart. I know after meeting people that I'm not falling not apart alone. People are patching me and most of the time I have no idea how or why. Although I never actually smile truly I still sometimes let the happiness in. I don't let people into my life, except you. You're the only person I can be brutally honest with. I hate you. I also love you. Everything I do feels like a mistake. I feel like a mistake, but they're always one thing I can do right and that's breathe. I'm scared of my own feelings and I'm hiding myself. I'm scared of pain and welcome it with open arms. My battles are fought in my brain. An overthought war. I've learned to love what is inevitable to die. I've learned to try to live and if I just can't at least pretend I can. You're the one that's put these thoughts in my head and I'm glad they're mine and not someone else's. I have stories to tell thanks to you and I have adventures to take once you decide to. Everything you do I do. Everything you are I am. My demons are you and me because you are me. Thank you for fighting my wars on the front lines. Thank you.
Dan Howell
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Reasons Why (DanxPhil)
FanfictionReason 1- Music This could be very triggering. Self harm and inability to live. I am very bad at describtions but this is the reasons why Dan Howell should live. He wakes up every night from nightmares and to stop from hurting himself he writes do...
