Reasons Why (DanxPhil)

Reason 15

Love- Love is quite important to me. I love rainy days, coffee, anime and shit like that. I also love my best friend and it's killing me. Recently death seems like a nice alternative to living. I'm kinda sick of pretending to be the happy Dan that everyone loves, but me. I think I fall in love too easily. I'm loving to quickly and regretting to slowly if that makes any sense. I fell in love with music years ago. I remember when that was the only issue I have, listening to too much music. Now my life is falling apart because my best friend and I are having a fall out because I can't talk to him. It seems that everything I write about is about Phil and I think there's something wrong. I'm about to give up. I had a goal get to one hundred reasons and then I could end my pain. I haven't even reached twenty, but I'm about to give up. I won't. I promised Phil years ago that I wouldn't quit. I intend to keep that promise until 100. Now back to the subject. Love. I miss the days when I was in love with Gerard Way or Patrick Stump. I tonight I feel like everybody wants somebody that doesn't want them. It's getting to me. Gerard Way couldn't live me back and now Phil can't. Hell I even (used to) live with him. A long time ago Phil confessed his love and I did too. He was scared so we didn't let it keep going. Lately it seems Phil literally hates me. There's no ounce of love left in him. For me that it. I miss the same glances and loving looks that we had to edit out. Now when ever we edit our videos together, few and far between, he's ALWAYS looking at the camera and it's like I'm a robot speaking to him. Instead of editing out the loving glances were editing out eye rolls. I miss the days when I could love the people on my screen and not the one in front of me. Even when my friends and family couldn't love me at least the music spoke to me with words filled with love. Thank you, love. You've shown he hope and well love. I will live for you, Love.

Dan Howell