My Cousin in the Summer

Chapter 18

Morning dew speckled across the grass as I stepped outside. The sun had begun to rise, already carrying with it the hotness of Texas summer. I frowned, silently cursing the heat, and headed to the swing where I had sat on yesterday until Grammy called us in for dinner.

Pushing myself with my feet to begin swinging, I stared at the ground sullenly. I still couldn't believe what I said to her. It was impossible to deny the feelings I felt for Hunter, so I couldn't understand why I had lied.

Because it's wrong to like your cousin, said a voice inside my head.

I sighed, feeling burdened. This couldn't be real.

"Hey."

I swallowed as I heard him. Yeah, this was real.

"Hi." I answered back in a small voice, trailing my foot against the ground to stop the swing. Honestly, I didn't even try and look at him. I don't think I could bear seeing him right now.

"D'you mind if I ask you something?" He asked, coming closer to me.

I frowned, slightly irritated. "Why is everyone asking questions? They're getting annoying."

"Well, this one will be quick... I hope."

I was silent and Hunter took it as a sign to continue whatever he was going to say.

"Why did you tell Grammy you didn't like me?"

I winced, still refusing to look at him. He sounded hurt, and I realized that Grammy must've told him what I shared with her.

So, in response, I scoffed. "Really? That shouldn't even be the least of your worries."

"It kinda is, y'know. I thought you liked me back. It sure seemed like it up until what you told Grammy."

"So? That doesn't mean crap. There are plenty of other girls you could go after, and it's wrong to like your cousin."

"But I want you," he said, pain etched in his voice. "That's all I want. I want you next to me when you're fiddling with your book cover, I want you next to me when it's dark and all we have is each other until morning. I want to stay in with you when you don't want to do anything, or go out on an adventure when you're feeling spontaneous. I want to snuggle up with you under a blanket and watch old tv shows, or crack jokes at one another and laugh until our insides are going to burst. I just want you in the most unromantic way ever imagined. It hurts so much for me to even think about it because all I want is you- and only you."

I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from frowning out of despair. It was silent for a few minutes until Hunter spoke again.

"Why won't you look at me? Leaha, please... For one moment just stop pushing me away."

That did it. I stood up abruptly, the swing clanging against the rock wall behind it. Facing Hunter, I glared at him with the most hateful death glare I could ever muster.

"I am not pushing you away!" I snarled, my hands curling into fists. "It's wrong to like your cousin! You really wanna know why it's wrong? Because we're family, and if we are together, then it's gonna be a hellhole of judgement and a bunch of church seminars about how it's wrong to like a relative in a more than family way. I don't know about you, but I certainly don't want that. Yes, I like you. A lot. But that doesn't mean we can be together. I purposely told Grammy that I didn't because-"

"You're afraid." He said softly, interrupting me. "Well I am too. But that doesn't mean we can't try."

"No," I said, taking a step away from him. "There is no point in trying, this'll only just end in pain."