Unfading Connection (complete)

Univited consequences

Eli's POV

Stay out of his way!!!

How many times do I have to remind myself of it. I must......I should........stay out of his way.

For how many hours now I am on the same page of this book. I am not progressing. How will I progress when my thoughts keep on reminiscing........and reminiscing........and reminiscing........what happened. The words of Anton keep nagging my mind. His eyes keep hunting my memories. Memories of his lips on mine keep sending shivers to my body.

"Two can play the game, Eli."
Both are players?
But can turn out to be a victim and an offender.
So it's either win or lose
..........or both wins........or both enjoy the stupid game
FYI Anton, I don't play those games.

"I can't deny my affairs."
So he admits he is a womanizer.
I hate womanizers.
But why can't I dismiss him from my mind! Why I can't stop my attraction towards him?

"I used my wealth and looks to charm women. "
Arrogant, conceited bastard.
Not my type.
My ideal man is someone who is humble. And definitely, I am not a gold digger.

"I never took them seriously."
I always, always take a relationship seriously.
Another "X" mark for you Anton.

"But....... most of them hinted me..........flirted me."
"It was easy as they are the ones showing interest."
I accepted his friendship. I accepted his kiss. I even responded.
Did I hinted him? Did I flirted?
Now he's the one progressing in this 'battle of my mind'.
I can't deny that he is handsome. I can't deny that I blush when looks at me. But I did not send him any signals. He charmed me with his ways.
But sad to admit that even his  'ways' that I don't like..........I am still charmed.
I sigh and hold my head as a headache is starting to peak up.

" But when a girls starts to be clingy, I shove them away."
"I don't want to be imprisoned."
"I want my freedom."
"I don't like commitments."
"I am not ready yet."
So what sort of relationship he wants from me? Open relationship?
Can I trust my heart to someone who will just break it?

"But,........what I am afraid of is what you will think of me."
"I care a lot of what you will think of me........of what you will feel for me."
"I do not like you to see me with those hateful eyes."
Why? Am I that important to you Anton?

"I barely know you Eli but you are slowly getting in to me."
"I want you to trust me."
"I am afraid one small wrong move and you will be gone."
"That's the thing I can't afford."
Does he has feelings for me? Or just lust?

"Eli, What are you doing to me?"
Anton, what are you doing to me?

This is what he is doing to me! Two hours...........same page of this book. I stand up and look at the ceiling trying to release things bothering my thoughts. I lie again on the bed, looking at the ceiling.

And his kiss........it sends a lot of messages all over my mind and body that I can't explain. My mixed emotions is obscuring my proper reasoning. I don't even know now which are the proper reasons.

Now I am regretting why I accepted this job, why I let Anne persuade me.
I am blaming myself why I let it happen. Why I did not keep my distance. Why I let my feelings empower me.