Unfading Connection (complete)

Bitter surrender

Anton's POV

It is weekend but Eli is not in her apartment and she is not answering her phone again. I still have the key for her apartment. Perhaps I can check inside.

She is nowhere in sight. Her favorite sneakers is not here. Probably she went again in the park like she used to do. I tried calling her phone again and I heard it ringing on her side table. She left it. I better catch her in the park. She usually stays there at this time.

Back in the hospital, after that talk with Dan, I reflected on things I have done wrong in my life. I had been selfish and arrogant. I consider women as my trophies, something to conquer. I never take things seriously. Now I am the one suffering from these emotions as my punishment of being selfish, for being such a jerk. My guilt is bothering me as I hurt the most important person in my life who showed and taught me what is the real meaning of love.

Eli is a girl with pure heart and intention. I broke her heart into pieces. She avoided me but I am a beast who doesn't want to stop 'til I get my prey. I played on her weakness......her love to me.

I destroyed her whole being. I know how she tried how to give without asking in return. How she sacrificed just to do what is right just to make me happy. I must find her to make amends. I need forgiveness. I need my peace of mind.

I felt her uncomfortable situation in the hospital when she was with Daphne. She has to pretend unaffected but because she loves me she still came to see me. I will never forget how she kissed and said she loves me. But she has to say goodbye.

Finally, I found her at her favorite park. I saw her sitting on her favorite bench, her gaze is far, her face is sad. She can't mask it even she uses sunglasses. I feel nervous while I walk towards her but I must do what I should do.

I sat beside her. She did not even notice me at all. Her mind is not consciously aware of her environment.

Her sadness, I know is all because of me. All because of what I did to her.

"Hi, Eli," I murmur, "I know I will find you here."

She looked at me and she can't hide her surprise.

"Anton! You're ok! Thanks God." She smiled with gladness. She's about to hug me but she declined.

"How are you?" I look at the horizon trying to figure out how will I continue with our conversation.

"Ummm......better." She's looking now at the horizon like me.

"Ummmm....Eli...."

"Hmm?"

"Thank you for coming to visit me in the hospital."

"Dan, told you? ...... You're welcome."

"I saw you..........I'm half sleeping, half awake...........I heard you."

She now looks at me and smiled sadly. " So......I can't deny."

"Eli, thank you very much..........even if I don't deserve it."

"Everybody deserves.........to be loved.......I guess."

"I want to talk to you to ask for your forgiveness," now she look directly in my eyes. She is trying to read what's in my mind.

"When I had this accident, everything turned back to me. How I've been so self centered.........so selfish. I never thought that my stupid actions are hurting many people already. I hurt the many women before. I hurt Daphne when I cheated on her ..................and I hurt you the most."