Unfading Connection (complete)

Catching up

Eli's POV

My heart is heavy as I walk out the hotel. I am supposed to be happy leaving the place. I should be anticipating my new life in my new place soon. But the fact that I will be leaving Anton makes my heart heavy.

Few days ago I am excited to finish and start to settle in another place.

I planned everything well.

I will resign from my hotel work three weeks before I transfer.

I will pack my things for next week and booked my flight and hotel a week before I start my work.

I will initially stay in the hotel while looking for a good place to rent near my work.

I organize everything. I planned everything because I have a goal.

I am okay.

I am in control............ until Anton came.

Not that I am happy that I finally gave our relationship a chance but I am not yet able to discuss with him about my new job. I was so busy doing double shifts and he was also busy with his work and attending the needs of the wedding of his cousin. He just fetch me in the evening just to come home with him.

Yes, to come home with him. I smile at that thought coming home with him......in his place.

I refuse at first but he insisted and I know how persuasive he can be

........and I really want to spend all my time with him..............this remaining few days in Brixton City.

He can really make me feel differently......happily. I always look forward seeing him after my work. I feel I have too much energy to finish even how hard and how numerous the tasks given to me in a day. Nothing can destroy my good mood even the banters of Mr. Clifford. 

Whenever I come home to his apartment it's about twelve in the morning already. We just eat a light meal together and cuddle sleeping. How I love the warmth of his body next to mine.

True to his words, he never did anything to take advantage of me.  He is so caring and gentle. His kisses are full of tenderness.

I never thought I will feel this way. I got used to his warm embrace, the warmth of his body next to mine, his peaceful breathing on my head when we sleep, the sound of his heart beat when I lie on his chest and his warm soft lips against mine.

I feel elated.

I feel special.

I feel I belong.

I am his and he is mine.

I feel.......there is hope in our relationship. Though I don't want to hope there could be more, I don't expect that he can be that serious about me.........still part of me is somehow looking for that chance.......

and still part me is preparing the pain of rejection, pain of losing him for I am not sure of his feelings.

If only I can program myself not to fall on him..........if only.

The only thing I know is I decide already on this and I have to suffer the consequences.

Things are harder than it gets.

Soon I have to say goodbye.

This is my first relationship and soon we will be apart. I don't know if I will be good in long distance relationship. But if we love each other, I think we will work it out.

Love? I know I love Anton but I never heard him telling me nor I telling him. I just agreed to be his girlfriend. Maybe it's too early. We just got together. As he said he wants to take it slow. I want also to take it slow. What if in the end he did not love me after all. I sigh. Can I fully trust him?