Satan's Spawn (Bon x Rin)

Chapter 2:

Rin's Pov:
⚠☠TRIGGER WARNING:⚠☠

Please don't read if triggered those story contains suicidal thoughts and behavior

After the shower I got dressed and went to the room Yukio and me shared once I went in my brother scolded me for sleeping in class and said some hurtful things "you are such a disappointment you killed our father and now you can't even put a little of effort on anything all you do is mess things up, I don't even know why you are here!" I don't understand why he treats me this way everything I did was for him. Maybe he hates me because of father's death after all its my fault he is dead, that must be it that's why he hates, oh but don't worry I hate me too brother. Everyone hates me but not more that how I hate and despise myself, With those words said I remained silent I packed my things and went to another room. Once I got to that room I organized my stuff and tried to sleep; so many depressing thoughts are running through my head it's like a river that keeps drowning me in its sorrowful waters. I start crying pushing my face onto a pillow not wanting to be heard as I do so I cry for all the sorrow hate sadness and despair that is lodged in my chest. It feels as tho a knife pierces my heart constantly making it difficult to breathe this sadness and emptyness reaches my very core it's so strong that I can feel it in my chest everytime I breathe. Whats worse is knowing that no matter how much I cry nothing will lessen the pain in my heart the only thing that can lessen this pain is dying. Nowadays the only thing I can look up to is my impending death.
I woke up the next morning with a sore throat and a fever I got up anyways, I didn't want to be scolded by Yukio again or worse my classmates everything I do seems to be a reason for insults lately, I know no one cares only Kuro. He will be better with my brother anyways I don't deserve anyone near me i'm a monster I am Satan's spawn after all.I won't go to to cram school today I feel awful and no one needs me there anyways my brother is always scolding me for my grades and lack of interest but how can I be interested in anything if my life is completely destroyed I have no interest in anything anymore the things I used to like I don't anymore. I used to be a food lover used to love cooking but even that seems like too much effort. Everything was so much better when we were little my brother would actually pay attention to me, we played together, back then he still loved me and saw me as his brother I used to defend him from bullies that's why I always was in fights it was all because I loved him but all of that was worthless to him. He only sees me as a threat to me eliminated if goes out of control I'm no longer a human or a brother for him just a threat just a tool, that's what I am to everyone a tool a nuisance. I should end this, no I'm going to end this it's determined I have nothing to live for everyone will be so glad when they hear the news their nemesis will finally be gone, the only thing hindering their lives and happiness will dissappear. I wish I had never been born this life has been nothing but torture, but my torture will end soon so all of this will be over. I should start preparing everything at least leave everything cleaned so no one has to bother with even touching my disgusting stuff. I'll put everything into boxes and label it as trash so they can know what to do with it. As I think of this I start gathering boxes and all the cleaning supplies I need to clean all of my room. I start by folding my clothes and putting them all onto the box only leaving one set of clothes outside the same suit I used for my father's funeral that's what I will die in. Then I start putting all of my Mangas and books into the other box with all of my personal effects not leaving anything outside after I finish moping and sweeping everything I close the boxes and label them as trash only leaving a notebook and a pencil to leave my last words in. If I am not wrong my brother will leave for a mission today he is supposed to be gone for a week that will be the perfect time to do this i'll kill myself everyone will be happy after I do so' I say to myself I walk out of my dorm and head out for a walk might as well do so since it will be the last time I ever do so as I walk I look up and around contemplating the skies and nature knowing it will be the last time I ever see it before going to Gehenna since I am a demon I know for sure I can't go to heaven so I might as well appreciate the last view of the sunset before all I can ever see is Gehenna. I can feel the pain in my chest growing stronger everyday I force myself to live this torture. I start walking back to the dorms since it's starting to get dark outside and in an hour or two Yukio is leaving as I enter the dorms I see the fading backs of my ex classmates and feel that awful pain in my heart. The tears, the pain, the hatred, the loneliness, the scars, the blood the lack of love and depression 'hopefully it will all be over soon'...

To be continued...
{Hey guys just finished editing this one there's not much I could do about this it's still kinda short let me know what you think. And please if this story somehow triggers you please don't read it, if you're suffering from depression please get help! I did it and I feel so much better now, never give up always keep fighting! -Insomniac Writer }