drowning|shawn mendes

- lost -

shawn mendes;

i walked out of the building crushed. how could i be so stupid and selfish for her to ever slip away from me? i didn't know that the break up would come this far and that i would come this far to even think she wanted me back. she screamed for me to get out of her presence and leave, something i would've done to her because of vanessa.

and vanessa. i was so naive to think she actually loved me again, and i loved her still. she played me like a puppet so she can get her self-centered needs. i was her pinocchio.

-
3 days
-
later
-

"shawn! matt's here!" my mother calls loudly. sighing, i stood up from my bed and dragged myself out of my room. ever since i last saw nina, i have done nothing but mope around. she really broke me.

"coming." i answered back trotting down the stairs giving matt an awkward smile. my mother left us and i suggested we head downstairs for video games. he agreed taking off his shoes and jacket.

i placed in NBA2K16 and waited for the screen to pop up. matt took a seat on the couch grabbing a controller. after everything was set up it was game time, but now instead of clutch i'm cripple. 6 games later, i have lost to 5 of them. i just can't stop thinking about nina.

"bro are you okay?" matt asked pausing the game.

" yeah." i responded, but my fake enthusiasm didn't fool him.

" what's going on?"

" nothing, what do you mean? i'm perfectly fine." i lied.

" c'mon do you really expect me to believe you? the way you're acting isn't you. Just tell me." matt justified.

"fine. it's nina and i fucked up so bad. i let such a special girl slip away from me." i confessed.

"then why don't you try to if fix it with her?" matt asked.

"i already tried. she hates me. besides, who the hell would want to get back with someone who made them with wish their heart would stop beating?"

"no one, i guess." he said.

"i lost her. i really fucking lost her." tears were threatening to spill out, but i didn't want to cry in front of my friend.

"shawn it's okay. i know how special nina was and how stupid you were, but you can't just give up. if you love her try to fight for her. you may think she hates you, but she doesn't. trust me." matt stood up turning the television off along with the xbox.

"where you going?" i asked.

"go and try to find a way to get nina back." and with that he left, leaving me to figure out the answer to my complicated problem.

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HIII! As I was writing this legit tears flowing down!

But I hope you like this chapter and I will again try to update on New Years but if now HAPPY NEW YEARS!!

I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

I love you💕- shaira