drowning|shawn mendes

- different -

• nina love •

as luke left to 'go get drinks', shawn and i were stuck with thick tension.

of course i wanted to speak to shawn, forgive even, but i already made it clear to him that i didn't want him in my life.

i was about stand up and go to the car, but shawn's touch lingered on my skin, creating goosebumps along my arms.

"n-nina, can we talk somewhere more quieter and private?" shawn asks still gripping onto my chilled forearm.

i gave a simple nod as shawn guided me through the packed house and up the stairs. shawn opened a door that revealed a neatly fixed king sized bed with picture frames on both nightstands.

shawn ushered me to go in first, as he closed the door behind once he was in.

i took a seat on the edge of the bed finding a blanket to hide my skimpy clothing. shawn took a seat next to me, while i puffed out a huge breath before speaking.

"so w-what do you want to talk about?" shawn was hesitant until he finally sighed, confessing.

"nina, i-i miss you."

"shawn....." i whined.

"nina, i can't stop thinking about you. i feel miserable about what i did to you. it's eating me alive as the memories continue to replay your tears and my words in my head over and over again. and the sad part is, i still love you, but you don't love me anymore."

"shawn, of course i still love you, i mean you were my first long term boyfriend, but it's just, it's just different now." i lied. nothing's changed about the way i feel about him. i thought it would, but it hasn't.

"what kind of different?" he whispered.

"the kind where falling in love with you would be a mistake."

"n-nina please i'm sorry."

"i have to go." i quickly took off the duvet and rushed down the stairs grabbing my coat and frantically telling luke i want to go home. i glanced upward and see shawn looking through the crowd of people.

i searched through luke's jacket's pockets and finally found the key. i snuck out from the back door struggling to make it through the yard filled with three feet worth of snow. once i finally make it to luke's car, i start the engine zooming away with tears blurring my view.

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HIII! So I'm kinda proud of this chapter bc 1. I did it in 40 minutes and 2. I don't know

I hope you like this chapter!

I love you💕- shaira