The Sweetest Feeling

Chapter One

Thank you for choosing to read my story. Emily and Nathan are very important to me and I hope you fall in love with them as I did. Please share and feel free to leave comments.
Love Maddie x

My heart is as cold as ice I've spent most of my life hiding it away. I'm sure some would go as far as to tell you I'm heartless but truth is I have just learned to use my heart less. At this precise moment I can feel it rapidly beating beneath my breasts, my breath is shallow and I am covered in sweat I stare up at the ceiling waiting for these feelings of uneasiness, dread and panic to pass. I end up like this most nights due to my reoccurring nightmares I can never get back to sleep, so I gently slip out of bed and tip toe to the living room. My boyfriend Maxwell is sleeping I don't want to disturb him, he has been working late all week. I have only stayed here twice before, usually I wait for him to fall asleep and sneak out. He doesn't like it but I don't want to have to explain why I have nightmares it was hard enough telling him we could only have sex with the lights off so he doesn't see my body.

Normally if I can't sleep I read. Reading is something I have always done to escape reality, I can be anyone or go anywhere inside a book, a kind of freedom. In the kitchen I want to make some tea but am faced with the task of locating the kettle first. Maxwell lives in a huge penthouse in Shoreditch with stunning views of the city, his kitchen is modern and fitted with every gadget you could imagine; not that he uses any of them. Actually come to think of it, in the six months we have been together I don't think I have ever seen him do anything in this kitchen. I give up and just grab a bottle of water from the fridge. I can't even get comfortable enough to read my book, this place is starting to annoy me there is nowhere to relax. It doesn't seem lived in, just cold. I guess it isn't really lived in though, between working and socialising Maxwell is hardly ever here.

I have to leave for work soon so I put my book back in my rucksack and use one of the bathrooms to have an extra-long shower. When I finish I don't immediately reach for a towel, instead I step out and let the cold air surround me; it makes me feel alive. Avoiding the mirror- it's still too difficult- I grab my clothes. While dressing for work I'm reminded how lucky I am, I don't have to wear a ghastly uniform or a boring suit. My outfit today consists of a long sleeve grey Mickey Mouse top, skinny jeans and my trusty white converse. Grabbing my leather jacket and rucksack the look is complete. Taking a banana from the fruit bowl, I quietly let myself out. I have to sneak out whenever I'm leaving here or Maxwell will insist his driver takes me and I prefer to walk or catch the bus. I'm not used to having people doing everything for me, it makes me feel uncomfortable I was brought up to pull my own weight. Stepping out into the early morning sunshine I can't help but smile. London at this time is my favourite. You see things you wouldn't normally pay attention to like how trees and bushes are planted strategically to break up this maze of concrete or how old some of the buildings really are- you can feel the history oozing out of them. Don't get me wrong, there is also a much darker side you see. Be it the homeless on the pavement, lonely and broken or those that mistress the night, prowling the streets for their final prey. Mostly it's the drunks and druggies trying to find their next fix. However this morning I only see the beauty of this city I call home. Taking out my iPod I look for my playlist of motivational music to help my mood. 'Eye of the Tiger' by Survivor is the first song, that's exactly what I need thank you Mr Shuffle. Yes don't judge me I have named my iPod, he is important to me, like an old friend. I would be lost without him you see music is my passion.

It doesn't take long to get to the Angel where I work. I like my job so much that I look forward to coming in every day; I know you're thinking nobody likes their job that much but I do. I work for a bookshop chain called 'The Bookcase' so you can see it's the perfect job for an avid reader like me; plus I get discount- which helps fund my massive collection of books. I stop and look up at the sign, my daily ritual. I feel so grateful. I am ready for what today has in store. I find my boss Jeff in the stockroom, head buried in paperwork. He's a fantastic boss, firm but fair. I've been lucky enough to get to know him over the years. He and his wife Kelly are important to me. I was bridesmaid at their wedding last year and they made me Godmother to Olivia their daughter. She is two now and I just adore her.
"Morning" I sing-song he doesn't look up. "Morning Emily no singing it's too early" he says. I poke my tongue out at him and go to walk away. "Oh I need to talk to you about something" he calls after me. "Dave and Barbara want you to do a training day for our other branches; they were super impressed with the results we've had so far". I was promoted about two years ago to shift supervisor and had some ideas for how to improve customer service. We have been using them for a while now and our customer service results have gone through the roof. "Ok sounds good. When are we doing this?"
"Monday. They emailed me late last night and it's all arranged. You know what they're like, everything last minute" he says. Monday is my birthday and I am supposed to have the day off. Luckily I am not bothered about celebrating my birthday. "Don't worry I will be here" I say. "Thank you! Take off any other day you want" he says before walking off. Now I have to tell Evie and Ali my two best friends that I'm working on my birthday. This should go down well.