The Sweetest Feeling

Chapter Three

I wake early as usual but today I feel rested after a solid six hours sleep. I take the opportunity to have the first shower peeking at the girls before I go, only to find Ali squashed in the corner with her arse in the air sucking her thumb and Evie spread across the bed with her mouth hanging open catching flies. I sure hope I don't look like either of them when I sleep. I come back from the bathroom to see Ali pottering around the kitchen making tea. She is the shortest of the three of us with the most gorgeous curves, a dazzling smile and beautiful braids. Her dark skin is soft and smooth. She is the complete opposite of Evie in that she's laid back and free spirited or disorganised and messy as Evie would say. I'm somewhere in between so we balance each other quite well. Her job suits her, she works for a well-known charity planning events and creating campaigns. She is always going on holiday to exotic places and has a new hobby every month, at the moment it's gardening. "Morning Ali bear, sleep well?" I smirk but she doesn't notice. "Yes, should we wake captain fun and get our schedule for the day?"
"I heard that" Evie calls from her bed.

An hour later we're enjoying breakfast in our regular spot. There is nothing like greasy, fried food after a heavy night of drinking. 'I'm ending things with Max' I say looking over at them. "About time" Ali says with a mouth full of hash brown. "Don't you like him?" They exchange a look before Evie says "I didn't want to say anything till I knew you were sure but he is too reserved for you".
"Plus you're not yourself when you're around him" Ali adds. It doesn't surprise me hearing what they have to say. I know they're right. "I'm gonna see him in a bit and tell him it's over, I'm sure he will be fine about it though, everything is so business like with him, even the way he thanks me after sex is like we just spent half hour going over a contract or something" I say making them giggle. We go back to eating and thankfully they don't mention it again.

I adore shopping but as we wonder round H&M I can't focus on what I'm looking at, my mind keeps wandering. You would think I would be preparing what I'm going to say to Max but ever since I heard that song yesterday I can't stop thinking about the guy I try so hard to forget. Also I'm nervous about my gig tonight, I haven't played at this pub before so I don't know what to expect. I check the time and decide its best to go see Max, get it over with before I chicken out.
I take a slow walk. Listening to a playlist compiled of depressing songs. All my playlists are made for different moods; it's a good way for me to keep track of my emotions. The concierge lets me in and buzzes up to let Max know I'm here, the door is open for me and I am greeted by Rosa, a lovely woman who I have spent quite a lot of time getting to know over the past few months. Unlike Max who doesn't know anything about his staff apart from their names. I find him in the kitchen, paperwork spread out in front of him. "Hi darling, I'm nearly finished; why don't you make yourself useful, and grab that bottle of wine from the fridge" he says without even looking at me. His fridge is a proper grownups fridge. Filled with fresh fruit, vegetables and salad, posh wrapped meat and fish, there is not one bit of chocolate in sight. I have Milky bar yogurts, Dairylea spreadable cheese and a whole drawer full of chocolate in my fridge. Max has his shopping done for him in places like Waitrose and Planet Organic, whereas I shop in places like Asda and Iceland. We are just completely different but not necessarily in a good way. You can tell he comes from money although he isn't a pompous twat or I never would have agreed to go out with him.
I think back to how we met. He came into my work every day for a week; it took him three days just to pluck up the courage to talk to me. He was so nervous and really sweet, I couldn't say no when he did finally ask me out. I hand him his wine and he looks up "Thanks darling" he says kissing me then turning back to his work. I sit opposite and study him. He is well over 6ft , all muscles with sandy blonde hair. Pretty is the word I would use to describe him. His penthouse is huge, he wears designer labels I've never even heard of, has a personal trainer, driver and a maid. He doesn't need to work to be honest but I know he is trying to prove to his parents he can make it on his own- even though his dad bought him this place and he still gets his credit cards paid for.
"Are you nearly finished?" He highlights something on one of his pages then gathers them all up and slips them back inside his briefcase. "I am now darling" This is it I can't avoid it any longer. Downing my wine in one go gives me the liquid confidence I need. Here goes nothing. "Max, I don't think we should see each other anymore" he looks shocked, like I just slapped him across the face. He just stares at me before sitting back down. He looks miserable. I wasn't expecting this reaction if I'm honest, I thought he would be put out by it and just treat it like some kind of business transaction, you know shake my hand and send me on my way. Boy was I wrong. He finally speaks "Why? I thought things were going great. Did I do something wrong?"
"Of course not, it's just we are so different" I say. "But that's what makes us so good together Emily, don't you see? You bring out my fun, carefree side and I bring out your grown up, sensible side."
"That's the point I don't want to be grown up and sensible. I want to act silly sometimes and do crazy things with my friends. You want me to change, to fit into your world Maxwell but I don't belong there. This is me, the funny girl with purple hair and a strange taste in clothes and music. I can't be what you need me to be, so there is no point in us being together" I say. He looks so sad. "I'm so sorry, you're such a loving guy and you've been a wonderful boyfriend but you deserve a girl who totally adores you. A girl who fits easily into your world" I say.
"But I love you Emily" he whispers. "You might think you do but I promise you Max, you don't. It's taken six months and me ending things, for you to even contemplate saying that" I lean in to kiss him one last time and turn to leave but he grabs me and pulls me to him, kissing me with such passion that he nearly knocks me off my feet. Wow, where has this been the last six months? I should stop this but I can't help myself. He leads me to the bedroom, kissing me all the way we fall down on the bed and start pulling off each other's clothes. He grabs a remote and closes the blind. This is a terrible idea.

We lay there afterwards staring up at the ceiling, panting for breath. I wrap the sheet around me, pick up my clothes and go to the bathroom. Dressing quickly so I can get out of here, I don't want to get his hopes up. When I come out Max is fully dressed, looking sorry for himself "Thank you that was a lovely way to bring things to an end" I say. He walks over and hugs me tight; like he will never see me again which I suppose is true. "Do you have to go Emily? Can't we just try and work things out as we go along?"
"No, this is how it has to be" I stand on tiptoe and peck his cheek. Grabbing my bag I head out the door and don't look back. On the stairs, I sink down and take a huge breath. I'm glad that it's over; I just hope he'll be ok. I can't just sit here I have to get ready for my gig tonight. I told you before that music is my passion, well there is more to it than that. I have a decent singing voice- it's actually soulful and pretty amazing but I can't say that, it would be big headed- I can dance and act a little too. I've always wanted to be on the West End stage, it's my dream. I've been playing in pubs and clubs since I was eighteen; it's a great way to get exposure, after all you never know who could be sitting in the audience. It doesn't pay much but I do it for the experience plus I would never pass up an opportunity to sing.

On Sunday night I can't wait to get into bed, this weekend has been exhausting. The move went smoothly-of course with Evie in charge it wouldn't have gone any other way- at this exact moment Evie and Toby are in co-habitual bliss.
Both the girls seem to have grown up a lot recently, I mean they both have careers they love, Evie is in a proper grown up relationship that will probably result in marriage and babies soon, Ali has just bought her first home-with her parents because she struggles with feeling tied down to things. So at least if they are involved she can just walk away from it all if she needs to- and what am I doing? The same thing I was doing when I was eighteen, gosh what a depressing thought. I think it's time I got back out and start auditioning again. Yes that's exactly what I need or I will never achieve my goals, I can't afford any more distractions.