The Sweetest Feeling

Chapter Eight

Nothing happened. It wasn't weird the next day, it felt right. That's why six weeks later I have stayed at Nathan's every Friday. I haven't told anyone. We watch films or listen to music, sometimes we talk for hours about everything and nothing at the same time. I know all there is to know about him, I've told him lots too but I skirted over my early childhood, he could tell I didn't want to talk about it so he didn't push it. Otis is one subject we never discuss. It's almost like we are a couple but a couple that doesn't have sex. We have spent nights cuddled in bed, gone out drinking together, last week we went to the cinema and tonight he is taking me to the theatre with the girls and his brother, to celebrate mine and Evie's results. I have no idea what I'm doing. I get all the emotional stability I crave from Nathan but he isn't my boyfriend.

I've been with Otis a few months and I like him, we have fun together but he is immature, inconsiderate, rude and a bit stupid, not to mention he sells drugs. I don't think that's the kind of boy my Nan would want me to bring home. Yet I can't help but go to him when he calls, I'm like a moth to a flame when it comes to that boy. Question is am I really addicted to him or the cocaine? If I ended things with him it would mean giving it up and I'm not ready to yet, I just need a little bit longer. Obviously he has no idea how much time I spend with Nathan because he doesn't care enough to ask what I've been up to or who I'm with.

I'm standing in the kitchen, looking out the window for our postman. My Nan is away this week, she has gone to Spain with my uncle Dermot and his wife Joanna, and so I have the house to myself. Nathan is still asleep upstairs, we both took today off so we could spend it together. I can't just stand here, I need to keep busy. I know I'll make pancakes while I'm waiting and bacon, can't forget bacon. I find all the ingredients I need, put a frying pan on the hob and pull down Nan's large mixing bowl. I need music. Plugging Mr Shuffle into my laptop, I find the song I'm looking for, hit play and start to sing along. I get really into it and start dancing. 'Faith' by George Michael comes on next, I grab my guitar and strum along, and I know it word for word. When the song finishes I hear clapping from behind me.
"Wouldn't have had you pegged as a George Michael fan" he laughs. I give him a deadly serious look. "If you tell anyone about this, I will kill you man. I have a rep to protect" I say doing my best impression of Tony Montana from Scarface. He laughs so hard that he has to wipe the tears from his eyes. "That was brilliant, another hidden talent" he says putting his arm around my shoulder and kissing the top of my head. "I'm making pancakes and bacon, sit down please" I say. He watches me closely while I move around the kitchen. I dish up, piling the plates high, the microwave pings. "What's that?" He asks. "Maple syrup" I say. Carefully putting it between us, I pour us some orange juice while letting the syrup cool slightly. I smother my food in syrup. "Are you putting maple syrup on your bacon?" He asks. "Yeah it's fantastic, try it". He looks at me with a funny look but then picks up the syrup following my lead.
He is washing up only fair seeing as I cooked. At that moment I hear the letterbox flap, jumping up I run and scoop up the post. I tear my letter open, scan the page and start to scream. "I got distinction, I got distinction". He picks me up with ease and spins me round. "You did it, I'm so pleased for you" he says putting me down. I'm still in his arms though, he tries to kiss me but I pull away. "I can't" I say. He looks embarrassed and crushed; I step back towards him and put my arms around him. He knows this is a big deal, this is the first time I have ever hugged someone properly. He puts his arms round me and we stay like this for a while. The phone interrupts us, it's my Nan. I tell her the good news and we chat for a bit. When I go back to the kitchen Nathan smiles at me and say's "So what do you want to do today?" He is his normal self and thankfully we can just forget it ever happened.

We decide to go and wonder around Covent Garden for a few hours and make the most of the sunshine before summer comes to an end. We walk around looking in shops and check out the little market stalls. I buy a few quirky bits of jewellery and an emerald green pashmina. He buys me a rose from one of those people selling them on the street. "I have never been bought a flower before, thank you" I say. "You're welcome. Shall we eat?"
"Yeah can we get some pizza please" I say. "Emily we can get whatever you want".
After we have eaten, we head to the Disney store. It's one of my favourite places; I have a Mickey Mouse teddy at home that I've had since I was about six. "You don't understand how important Disney is to me" I tell him. I pick up teddy after teddy wishing I could have them all. I make us leave before I end up buying any; we walk over to watch a street performer. "Wait here I will be right back" he says. I'm so engrossed by the performer that I don't notice where he disappears to. He comes back a few minutes later with his hands behind his back. "What have you got behind your back?" I ask. He pulls out a small Winnie the Pooh teddy, my heart fills with joy I throw my arms around him and squeeze him tight. "Thank you, that was so sweet. He is perfect, I can take him everywhere" I say putting the teddy in my bag. I take hold of his hand "Come on let's go get a drink before we meet the others".